singapore with the parentals

Dad bought mums a new camera for her b-day...we don't want to talk about it...but now apparently we are a picture taking family...we went to a talk by a Cambodian author who studied at Providence seminary and wrote the amazing book, Tears of my Soul. About how all his family was killed in the communist take over and reign of terror due to the Khmer Rouge in the late 70's.
he went to school with uncle henry...and so we got to talk to him after the 'seminar'
the endless paparazzi....seriously...

caught in a more embarrassing situation of not knowing how to climb a tree...I just want you to know that I am high in the air...and I'm very brave really, just not with tree's.

my favorite thing...

touring the creek that we used to play and play and play in...remember standing on the edge and feeling the sand fall away under your feet...i used to think that was so daring of me to keep my balance and not fall down.

a wise girl builds her castle away from the waves...
reunions call for those infamous group pictures...

me and bitsy discovering that the rock-crack is not the hole in the earth layer that's black abyss leads to the earths volcanic core...it's just a crack now, not nearly as exciting as before...
can i just say that rediscovering your youthful fears also breeds adult fears...
no more shrimp warf...the pier is gone...and we aren't even their to rejoice at this wonderful development...
but that was last week, now I'm in singapore enjoying watching War and Peace, and learning the finer points of ironing...fun times...and getting my body whipped into shape by my mother and the FIRM

indonesia 2

this is the whistle cake guy...he would come down our street and the steam from his little oven whistles and we could always come out and know he was there...then he would make you as many as you wanted right there...proving to you that I do enjoy a good whistle cake! brown sugar and coconut yummyness


yes I do have abnormally large spaces in between my big toe and first BUT it's cause I was raised barefoot...indonesian grass is sooo comfey...this is where I raised frogs once...we would pick all the tad poles out of this ditch and put them in a rain barrel and wait for frogs to jump out of the rain barrel....it was quite exciting...and once we put a small firecracker into a frogs mouth to see what would happen and well, it wasn't as exciting as I thought it would be but the frog did jump into the air and flip over...never to jump again...
this is my 'gong' or street...I never really played out side of my street much...I am such a little safety much afraid girl...this was my playground for about 31/2 years...oh the memories...

Suka hati

My dad and his fav coffee shop...we went there every morningcoffe with sweetened condensed milk...
happy cuz we're eating
the egg cup...dad gets these heinous half boiled eggs...can anyone say salmonella

sitting in an airport

in jakarta, we will be sitting here for the next 5 hours or so...can't tell you how much fun it is to sit, and sit, and sit...
and then get up and drag you luggage from here to the 'little room' (thats what they call it in indonesian) and drag it back.
traveling is not glamorous any more...my mum used to give me graval to knock me out for our long flights cause I would stay awake if there was TV on anywhere (still do) ...now I am too old to get knocked out and strollered around...to bad.
so I'm just sitting, kinda feels like labor watching...except no ones' in pain...their is no promise of a baby...and I don't get to see a placenta...
but their is an exciting take off and landing and I do get to fly...
I wonder if anyone has ever tried a flying birth? as opposed to a waterbirth? or a homebirth? i mean you have great things to help cope with the pain...clouds,an aisle, endless supplies of juice and soft drinks...pretzels...the only think would be the uniforms...I can't see a stewardess being able to move in awkward positions in their little skirts and suit jackets...okay so i am going to keep sitting here and mull over the finer points of a birth plane...the new air birth...stork jet...flying babies...air buntis...

blob, blob, blob

someday i am going to write a book called, 'life is a gong show'...don't hold your breath though.

Ok, so back in pontianak, we walked thru the area where the Italian is, as well as the Hawaii...good eats...had satay for lunch and fries for supper...oh, and a whole lagi bar for 'I'm stressed and I want chocolate hour' (sorry andi will buy you another). I almost started in on the dodol but I guess the moment passed and the dodol lies safely wrapped for travel...
apparently I have started a food journal...but don't worry this one doesn't come with before and after pictures...or a story about discipline and exercise...I just like food...and the rempel blood in me likes to write about it as well!
shopping, spaing and thinking...and driving and driving and driving...that has been life over the past two days...
mums has been chauffeuring us around town; the spa we went to didn't have enough staff so I waited for an hour to get my hair dried by two different people.
What can I say, so far the people have made me happy, the food has transported me to another world, and the places have made me sad...pretty much if I was a weather system i would be all the extremes meeting and wreaking havoc...but I am me so i take it out on Dad...poor guy thinks I'm not enjoying myself, little does he realize that to enjoy anything I have to give free reign to all my emotional chaos and then just be...he is dealing rather well...well off to bed...

Words i haven't said in awhile....

Lately I feel like this blog has been like wading thru emotional diarrhea for you all but hang in there...it can't get any worse...unless reading my description just put you over the edge...

Traveling. I think I've been in a car/plane/boat...my whole life....thankfully the latest version has AC. I am in Serukam with mums and Dad. We went to a bit of the 50th of berea and now are working wireless internet in the middle of the jungle. i don't mind the driving here, cause i forgot how pretty and green it is. The rice fields with the hills behind them and all crowding in around the road as you drive. Also that everyone hangs out on the road...we watch the little kids wlak to and from their schools, senam pagi...morning exercises...so many good memories...I do have pictures but will put them up later...I have driven thru anik and had chap chai at the Asia in 'pinu'...but will not make it to Jelimpo. We are going to go back to Pontianak and chill there for a bit.
Mostly it's the smells and tastes and just being here, the pictures won't do it justice and i have never really understood what this visit would be like. Or what it would make me think about growing up here...i think I thought I would crash and burn with sentiment or worse yet, get bitter and angry because it all had to end. But really, being here has made me see that I am so lucky, i was lucky to get this chance once and to come back and realize how lucky...well, now I'm just stinkin lucky. To hear words i haven't heard for so long, to see faces i couldn't even remember, to hear the jungle...

Indonesia mera Darah Ku!!!!!

okay so we landed with a big bump bump, bang...at 8pm tonight...And first thing i did was go to the washroom after we landed and it was a squatty potty! i took a picture...
Then we went to gaja mada...a veritable palace of good food...and ate nasi chap chai and I had tea es jeruk!
I know no one understands most of these things but I just want you to know that Pontianak still smells like pontianak, and the roofs are still red, and when you go to a restaurant people still watch you eat...and they were burning their fields as we drove into town from the airport...oh and we passed the governors house, and all these buildings I remembered...
so right now I am smelling smokey pontianak and I am lovin it...
Now were at the New tribes guest house...which used to be Denny's house and the gong is still the same and we passed our old house...I fast-forwarded grade 9 in that old house! Oh the memories...Oh and the Mahkota...I am going to take a picture of it...
I'm in Indonesia!

sometimes all you need is really chocolate...

nuf said!

Soul Searching...the pit of dispair...why do pessamists people scroll down and optamists scroll up? If I start scrolling up will I change my outlook?

2 more days and I leave.
2 more days and life just goes right on...
2 more days and I still have to figure out what to do next...
2 more days and I'm done...

I am starting the "what did I do right" list and "what went wrong" list in my head right now...it's not the funnest part of being me...thinking...but my mind makes these little lists and I find myself standing up against them trying to measure up. And right now I am failing miserably. I think i am madly trying to justify myself in my experiences here. In my accomplishments and struggles...do I really have to feel good about how I left things? no...thats my simple answer I guess.
I don't have to feel like I conquered or kept communication open and relationships simple. Right now I want to be anywhere but in my own skin, you see this person has alot to answer for. Is there anything meaningful coming out of this? Do I even want this? Is it worth it? How did I do?
well, personally, I think i fell alot and somedays didn't even get up-
How did I get here. Where am I going? What is my problem?
The bible says the end of things is better than the beginning, so why do I hate good-byes...I avoid them like the plague! And why does getting to the end of something always make me want to take it all back and start over again. Why does ending something make you realize it was never yours to begin with?

LIFE!

so soul searching is not my favorite thing but I find myself doing it over and over again...and I know grandma is praying for me so I don't even need to worry about all my worrying-
good-bye old me,
whatev...Jesus already knows this about me and His mercies are new every morning...even if I am still sitting in the same skin right now-someday thats going to be new too...here's to heaven, and eternity and getting out of this old thing and being made new.