Traditions...

Saturday morning breakfast at the Frenchway bakery...I forgot to take pictures at the shop because I was having such a good time talking with Linds, catching up on her comings and goings and sharing about life.This coming after a brisk walk through the forest. Drinking coffee and eating a cinnamon bun with a kindred spirit, felt like I had just stepped into the most remarkable place. I knew I had left reality for a moment. I was far, far away...it was so refreshing... I had such a lovely time that I just had to walk back through the forest again...
I love the area where I live. It has taken my random walks to a whole new level. Walking has always been something i enjoyed doing, but here I find I get lost in the whole experience. I like being lost. One step at a time, a monotonous exersize that lets your imagination run away with you. Till suddenly a miraculous thing happens, you find yourself back where you started, at your front door again.
This time I think my euphoria had a bit more to do with Linds and the coffee...it was such a lovely morning...Linds we'll defo have to go again...

reading week activites...

here i am, taking another break from studying statistics to blob...
oh, my mum sent me my dishes from singapore...so i will show you some cooking endeavors on my 'new' dishes and Wendy's valentine's cupcake...the whole rice mold thing, i am killing it, I know but I luv it so much...this is curry rice with veggies...
some of the other things included...
wedding dress shopping for the wedding i will be in this summer...I lasted 11 hours and I think only looked tired by the end and not at all grumpy ( 1 point for bridesmaid)...I really wanted Lexi not to rush the decision but she only set aside one day to find 'the dress' so it was do or die...no one died. We were successful. and, thanks to the many practice runs of me having fits or being unreasonable at previous wedding things...for my sister Carissa's wedding i threw a fit about who would sign the registry the night before the wedding, for my friend Tracie's wedding I didn't last 1 hour shopping for dresses and staying in a good mood, and last but defo not least at Kath's wedding I butchered the maid of honor speech and made her sound like barbie-party girl in bible college ( which she was not...I just tried to capture her sense of fun and it came out as...word vomit)...these were the big three, I am sure I must have done something at Andi's and others...I just don't seem to go well with weddings...but Lexi got a very well trained bridesmaid when she picked me so this wedding party i seek redemption for past who-ha's...
I helped out with awana at the church i go to...it is so fun and it has chased away some of my blues of not being able to go back to Africa...it is one of the things I look forward to every week...although i don't get the whole...pledging to awana bits...weird...but fun too
I studied, stressed and studied some more for stats and then got completely run down one day and just watched olympics...that was fun too...
I worked alot, I got some morning shifts and had to be at the store by 7am...meaning i leave the apt by 6:30...It was brutal...who gets up that early? don't answer that, I don't want to know.
But getting to work and being greeted by Itsak was worth it all...he came right up to me and said, "Maria" like he had discovered some long lost family member...that was all he said, but it made that day so nice...also listening to the rhythm of safeway and hearing Itsak never miss a que with, "Now don't forget to sign that autograph" whenever someone handed me a credit card. I don't work with him that often anymore and it was nice to see him again.
now, back to midterms and school stress....

a long time ago...

..."He is skating for the gold medal."
A young boy announces his own performance.
"He has to be perfect in his program because the Russians have nailed their jumps."
Standing in the middle of the living room floor, he gives a play-by-play as he jumps high into the air.
"A triple axel! What a jump!"
He exclaims when he finishes a half rotation and lands with a flourishing of his hands.
"He has got a hard combination ahead of him. A triple axel into another triple axel."
And in a solemn voice adds;
"If he lands this he will win the gold!"
The boy crosses his arms against his chest and does back to back jumps, landing on one leg with the other extended as far back as it can go. A worthy imitation of the ice-skaters pose, raising his arms on either side. In victory he cries,
"It's a gold! He has won the gold!"
Pumping his arms the boy races around the room for an audience of one.
"What a performance! He has done it. He has won the gold medal!"
Joining in the olympic dream, I clap and cheer the young boy on.

As the Olympic season, filled with dreams and glorious moments of triumph, reached out to two siblings so long ago, i am caught in this vortex again. Caught up in the magic of achieving something not just for oneself, but for a nation. fulfilling a hope and single highhandedly carrying the expectations of an entire nation for victory.Once again, watching the action, listening to announcers and waiting to hear three of the most awe inspiring words..."It's a gold!"
Mostly, I'm proud to be Canadian

i found out your getting a family

when the rain is blowing in your face,
baby girl, I'll pray for grace
and the whole world is on your case,
you are not a waste
I could offer you a warm embrace...
soon you'll find a home
your sacred place
only found in dreams
introduced to reality
when there is no one to dry your tears
and your nights are full of fear
I could hold you for a million years...
you are weightless to me
to make you feel my love
a bundle of sorrows
rests in my arms
heartbroken, crying
even as you sleep
I'd go hungry , I'd go black and blue
a pilgrim like you
I'd go crawling down the avenue
I'm homeless without you
no, there's nothing that I wouldn't do...
in this moment
all there is,
is you and me
and we are free
the storms are raging on the rolling sea,
life is crashing in again
the winds of change are blowing wild and free
you are a revelation
I'd go to the ends of the earth for you,
where the ocean
meets the sky
where rainbows hide
waiting to shine
to make you feel my love.

Valentines cupcakes...

I spent a day at my cousin's place yesterday. We celebrated one of the most athletic and bright 7 year old's birthday with a butterfly cake and super mario cart...Brianna had already had a friend party and sleep over and every good thing...but still had a family birthday to make it a weekend of fun and one of those birthdays you look back on and think, 'where did all the magic go?' When birthdays were still birthdays, major events that made you think that musicals really might be real somwhere, and that fairies live in the garden plants your mother tends...This time, coming as a family member and obviously a bit older, I couldn't help but notice all the work parents go to to make the events that seem so effortless and full of special memories...you grow up thinking that all this comes naturally and just happens. Food appears, presents are earth shatteringly amazing, and the fun only ends when your eyes shut as your head hits the pillow at night.
The fun spills over I think, on those magically, painstakingly put together parties. It was so great watching the kids have fun, Luke and Jack were hilarious...but sadly, Jack no longer calls me Marina, which i thought was one of the nicest nicknames I have ever had. He told his mother, "It's maria, MAREEEEA." very emphatically. And then i got valentines day cupcakes and lasagne to take home with me...so i went to Bri's party and got presents too...but it all had to end at some point, the magic can only last for so long as we all know from Cinderella... but even as Glen and Crystal drove me home, the veggie tales christmas album playing in the car made me think that I had been in a kids musical all day. Energy, magic, little fairies running around spreading their wonder and delight, making even the littlest things super-fun.
Then stepping out of the car into the snow and racing for the dorm, home to my grown up life, with homework and details and projects and the probability of statistics making me crazy...
every now and then, when i need a little reminder that life is magical, I open up the fridge and look at my cupcakes...happy birthday Bri I hope the magic never ends:)
I will upload pis of the cupcakes when i find my memory chip thingy...arghhhhh...details...

Pizza with the Regehr's

Winnipeg would not be the place it is without Linds and her fam. On monday we had pizza together.There was some drama though because I was bringing some of the ingredients and instead of taking the bus to get there...I walked it there. 45 minutes of all the Regehrs waiting later, i arrive and feel...stupid. But then the mood lightened as we started laughing and talking about politically incorrect words and sayings. Linds mum and Dad are so funny. But I did find out that Linds inherited her 'need' to have food at certain times from her Dad, all our talking was done around the stove and oven watching Linds put everything together...encouraging her, entertaining her, these are my talents in the kitchen...talking to the cook. Anyway...
Linds decided to put mushrooms, green pesto sauce, tomatoes and shrimp with feta cheese together for one pizza...it was genius...and she thought of this all on her own...as in her own brain figured that these things would go well together...incredible! Which brings me to the point of this blog. Linds I am never inviting you over for a meal. I just need some more time to practice...maybe a few years or so, of practice...seriously the pizza was like heaven in a pan.
thank-you to Elise for taking the picture...it was a collaborative effort by all involved. I was an eater, Elise did photography, Linds made it all worth it:)

Perfect vs Reality

Perfect:

summer classes + part time job

South Africa + the babies

Korea + teaching kids + adventure = fun


Reality:

full time job or any job, just a job,

weddings ( thankfully not mine)

who knows after the summer... ( those three dots symbolize terror, fear and more terror)

These last few days have been me being a spazoid. I went from planning and planning and making things work for me to a conversation with my amazing friend shirley that went a bit like. "Are you running away from a hard situation? Are you being honest? Where is your committment? Do you know what God wants." Right, I had said I was going to committ to what God is doing and how He is working instead of asking for permission afterwords (or is that begging for forgiveness) and I also agreed to work on being honest with myself and asking the hard questions. Oops, i forgot about that. What to do. What to do...which brings me to today...and those three dots of doom.
...
what does this mean for tomorrow?
...
what does this mean for today?
...
I hate this...