just thinking about some of the answers I put down for my anatomy final...I already know I got alot more wrong than I thought...I totally bombed the test...the more i think about the questions and how I answered them the more I wonder what I was thinking...
horridious mess...
it's done and now I get to find out how horrid I actually did...
horridious, horridiousness...
where was my brain????
Saturday 30 May 2009
Sunday 24 May 2009
random devo goodness
THE SECRET OF THE QUIET HEART
"Be still, and know that I am God."-- Psa_46:10.
"Sit still, my daughter, for the man will not rest, until he have finished the thing this day."-- Rth_3:18.
PARADISE HAS vanished from our world, as the picture of a landscape vanishes when swept by storm. And our race stands in much the same plight as did Naomi and Ruth in this old-world story. We have lost our inheritance, and the one barrier which stands between us and despair is the Person and Work of our Lord Jesus Christ. But, thank God, we need have no doubt as to the sequel. For as Boaz claimed back the estate for Ruth, so may we be confident that Jesus Christ will never be at rest till this sin-stained and distracted world is restored to her primitive order and beauty, as when the morning-stars sang for joy.
Jesus is our near Kinsman by His assumption of our nature. He is the nearest and dearest Friend of our race, who stooped to die for our redemption. And the fact that He carried our nature in Himself to heaven, and wears it there, is an indissoluble bond between us. Sit still! do not fret! He will never fail, as He will certainly never forsake!
Let us seek the quiet heart in our prayers. Prayer must arise within us as a fountain from unknown depths. But we must leave it to God to answer in His own wisest way. We are so impatient, and think that God does not answer. A child asked God for fine weather on her birthday, and it rained! Some one said, "God didn't answer your prayer." "Oh yes," she replied, "He did, God always answers, but He said No!" God always answers! He never fails! Be still! If we abide in Him, and He abides in us, we ask what we will, and it is done. As a sound may dislodge an avalanche, so the prayer of faith sets in motion the power of God.
In times of difficulty--be still! Thine enemies are plotting thine overthrow! They laugh at thy strong confidence! But hast thou not heard His voice saying: "This is the way, walk ye in it"? Then leave Him to deal with thy foes from whatever quarter they come. He is thy Rock, and rocks do not shake. He is thy High Tower, and a high tower cannot be flooded. Thou needest mercy, and to Him belongeth mercy. Do not run hither and thither in panic! Just quietly wait, hushing thy soul, as He did the fears of His friends on the eve of Gethsemane and Calvary. "Rest in the Lord, wait patiently for Him." "Be still, for He will not rest, until He hath finished the thing this day."
-Meyer
"Be still, and know that I am God."-- Psa_46:10.
"Sit still, my daughter, for the man will not rest, until he have finished the thing this day."-- Rth_3:18.
PARADISE HAS vanished from our world, as the picture of a landscape vanishes when swept by storm. And our race stands in much the same plight as did Naomi and Ruth in this old-world story. We have lost our inheritance, and the one barrier which stands between us and despair is the Person and Work of our Lord Jesus Christ. But, thank God, we need have no doubt as to the sequel. For as Boaz claimed back the estate for Ruth, so may we be confident that Jesus Christ will never be at rest till this sin-stained and distracted world is restored to her primitive order and beauty, as when the morning-stars sang for joy.
Jesus is our near Kinsman by His assumption of our nature. He is the nearest and dearest Friend of our race, who stooped to die for our redemption. And the fact that He carried our nature in Himself to heaven, and wears it there, is an indissoluble bond between us. Sit still! do not fret! He will never fail, as He will certainly never forsake!
Let us seek the quiet heart in our prayers. Prayer must arise within us as a fountain from unknown depths. But we must leave it to God to answer in His own wisest way. We are so impatient, and think that God does not answer. A child asked God for fine weather on her birthday, and it rained! Some one said, "God didn't answer your prayer." "Oh yes," she replied, "He did, God always answers, but He said No!" God always answers! He never fails! Be still! If we abide in Him, and He abides in us, we ask what we will, and it is done. As a sound may dislodge an avalanche, so the prayer of faith sets in motion the power of God.
In times of difficulty--be still! Thine enemies are plotting thine overthrow! They laugh at thy strong confidence! But hast thou not heard His voice saying: "This is the way, walk ye in it"? Then leave Him to deal with thy foes from whatever quarter they come. He is thy Rock, and rocks do not shake. He is thy High Tower, and a high tower cannot be flooded. Thou needest mercy, and to Him belongeth mercy. Do not run hither and thither in panic! Just quietly wait, hushing thy soul, as He did the fears of His friends on the eve of Gethsemane and Calvary. "Rest in the Lord, wait patiently for Him." "Be still, for He will not rest, until He hath finished the thing this day."
-Meyer
Thursday 21 May 2009
my momma didn't raise no foo!
i ate ichiban for about a week straight...cultivated an intense relationship with toilets from home to university campus...but my momma didn't raise no foo
in psychology class I have a test on conditioned and unconditioned responses and learned behaviour, punishment/reward etc tomorrow...should be interesting...
in anatomy we dissected a sheep heart today and I was so amazed at the valves between the atria and ventricles...they are like these little spider webs blocking blood flow...I guess I had always pictures them with alittle more to them but when i saw them they are so delicate and fragile...so amazing! Saturday we dissect a rat...all my lab partners are squeemish so who knows if I will have to do it or not...the final is in 9 days....I am freaking out!
but the midterm went fairly well...but I have no idea if i can pull this class into a good mark...it is so crazy fast....
I got my marks back from CMU...finally...looks like I am a nerd. Went to work and told them about my report card and they made me a sign that said, here's the nerd....it made my heart happy...
in psychology class I have a test on conditioned and unconditioned responses and learned behaviour, punishment/reward etc tomorrow...should be interesting...
in anatomy we dissected a sheep heart today and I was so amazed at the valves between the atria and ventricles...they are like these little spider webs blocking blood flow...I guess I had always pictures them with alittle more to them but when i saw them they are so delicate and fragile...so amazing! Saturday we dissect a rat...all my lab partners are squeemish so who knows if I will have to do it or not...the final is in 9 days....I am freaking out!
but the midterm went fairly well...but I have no idea if i can pull this class into a good mark...it is so crazy fast....
I got my marks back from CMU...finally...looks like I am a nerd. Went to work and told them about my report card and they made me a sign that said, here's the nerd....it made my heart happy...
Monday 18 May 2009
the cottage
a few years ago, back in the land of the phils...when me and the girls would sit around and talk about home and special things we missed...Linds would always talk about the cottage. The lake, the speedboat, the sun, the fresh air...the cottage...we all had our special events to look forward to once getting home, and Linds' was to drive straight from the airport to the cottage...now that I have experienced time at her cottage I know why.
This week Linds invited me to the cottage with her family (minus Thailand visiting sister Elise) and I was like, I don't know, I have so much to study and stress about....-side note-can i just say that I am not the quickest person out there and certainly one of the slowest to get excited about things that I should get excited about...anyway I thought about it for a day or two and was like Linds you know I really think it would be good to go...thinking that I just need out of my 4 walls of apartment and to breathe some different air...
can I just say Linds was really understanding in first letting me change my mind and then just taking me-the perenially slow to bloom with any kind of excitement along-I mean this was her thing, this was the cottage that got her thru the phils, I should have been alot more into this than I was...but real life often gets taken alittle too slowly by me...but there it is, I am slow and people who deal with me learn to expect this slowness...I think she knew...I hope she knew...I am just abit of a freak...
so
anyway
the cottage....
first driving there was so nice, I was out in the country, in a car (as opposed to the bus) sitting with people I knew and it did start with many adventures, her poor dad had to pull off the spare tire on the boat trailer cause it kept hitting the ground and making hideous brake-like noises and then when we finally got to the cottage (I think what was long to him seemed like a super nice drive to me) he had to get running water in the cottage itself but one of the attachments was broken so he worked on that all afternoon, as well as the dock and getting the boat out...etc...I just got to enjoy the cottage life and her poor dad was like the energizer bunny doing all this stuff to make the experience so amazing....props to Linds dad!
but now,
the cottage...
words can't describe it really, it was everything that I think a memory/moment should be to get you through the hard times, I can totally see why Linds would go to the cottage right after the airport when she got back from the phils...the deck, the water, the boat ride...the water, the quiet...
and all the favorite foods of summer, hot dogs, steaks, french toast...(Linds mum gets huge props for the menu and food...oh my goodness I don't think I stopped eating the whole time i was there...I felt like a teenage boy, I just kept eating)
it was just the complete package and I luved every minute...I still do have midterms staring me down...but stress...is that even a word? who stresses...I certainly don't stress, I just sat on a deck, put my feet up and stared out at the water watching it dance and shimmer, I just went to the cottage.
This week Linds invited me to the cottage with her family (minus Thailand visiting sister Elise) and I was like, I don't know, I have so much to study and stress about....-side note-can i just say that I am not the quickest person out there and certainly one of the slowest to get excited about things that I should get excited about...anyway I thought about it for a day or two and was like Linds you know I really think it would be good to go...thinking that I just need out of my 4 walls of apartment and to breathe some different air...
can I just say Linds was really understanding in first letting me change my mind and then just taking me-the perenially slow to bloom with any kind of excitement along-I mean this was her thing, this was the cottage that got her thru the phils, I should have been alot more into this than I was...but real life often gets taken alittle too slowly by me...but there it is, I am slow and people who deal with me learn to expect this slowness...I think she knew...I hope she knew...I am just abit of a freak...
so
anyway
the cottage....
first driving there was so nice, I was out in the country, in a car (as opposed to the bus) sitting with people I knew and it did start with many adventures, her poor dad had to pull off the spare tire on the boat trailer cause it kept hitting the ground and making hideous brake-like noises and then when we finally got to the cottage (I think what was long to him seemed like a super nice drive to me) he had to get running water in the cottage itself but one of the attachments was broken so he worked on that all afternoon, as well as the dock and getting the boat out...etc...I just got to enjoy the cottage life and her poor dad was like the energizer bunny doing all this stuff to make the experience so amazing....props to Linds dad!
but now,
the cottage...
words can't describe it really, it was everything that I think a memory/moment should be to get you through the hard times, I can totally see why Linds would go to the cottage right after the airport when she got back from the phils...the deck, the water, the boat ride...the water, the quiet...
and all the favorite foods of summer, hot dogs, steaks, french toast...(Linds mum gets huge props for the menu and food...oh my goodness I don't think I stopped eating the whole time i was there...I felt like a teenage boy, I just kept eating)
it was just the complete package and I luved every minute...I still do have midterms staring me down...but stress...is that even a word? who stresses...I certainly don't stress, I just sat on a deck, put my feet up and stared out at the water watching it dance and shimmer, I just went to the cottage.
Monday 11 May 2009
Current motto
A coffee a day gets me an A...well I really am kinda stretching my expectations there...but I do get my timmies every day before psychology class...you can judge me...
part of my justification for this is I have decided to live on ichiban and powdered ice tea (I think my bro in law Yase gets props for intoducing me to this beverage)...so far I feel pretty good about it...I eat vegetables the days I work at Saucer's and other than that I really don't worry about food...basically I am supposed to eat carbs before tests and stuff anyway (a carb happy stomach is a smart brain) so I think I am on the right track with this diet...for the time being...
running is lame, until I get some marks back that says this time of my life is being well spent I have given myself the 'time off''; I watch people running as I am at the bus stop at 7am and think...suckaahhhh!
psychology is so hilarious, it's a bunch of smart people who are studying how to best descride human behaviour...good luck...but I am enjoying my class...with my timmies...
also I luv my canadian prof's...they spell everything the canadian way....my favourite colour is green. I have muscle fibre attached to tendon's which anchor the muscular (fibre) tissue to the bone...tendon is connective tissue not muscular tissue because it's doesn't contract, it anchors...
which reminds me I have to study for the midterm now...
part of my justification for this is I have decided to live on ichiban and powdered ice tea (I think my bro in law Yase gets props for intoducing me to this beverage)...so far I feel pretty good about it...I eat vegetables the days I work at Saucer's and other than that I really don't worry about food...basically I am supposed to eat carbs before tests and stuff anyway (a carb happy stomach is a smart brain) so I think I am on the right track with this diet...for the time being...
running is lame, until I get some marks back that says this time of my life is being well spent I have given myself the 'time off''; I watch people running as I am at the bus stop at 7am and think...suckaahhhh!
psychology is so hilarious, it's a bunch of smart people who are studying how to best descride human behaviour...good luck...but I am enjoying my class...with my timmies...
also I luv my canadian prof's...they spell everything the canadian way....my favourite colour is green. I have muscle fibre attached to tendon's which anchor the muscular (fibre) tissue to the bone...tendon is connective tissue not muscular tissue because it's doesn't contract, it anchors...
which reminds me I have to study for the midterm now...
Tuesday 5 May 2009
I'm freaking out! I'm freaking out!
I have a midterm in less than 2 weeks...my second day of class was today...reality kinda hit today, what was I thinking taking a 3 credit course in a 4 week time frame...
oh and I picked up a shift this week so I have 3 now...because my life is a monopoly game and I keep landing on boardwalk...
on the way to school this morning the bus driver wouldn't let me off and so i missed the connecting bus and did not have time to get a coffee at tim's before class...
my psychology prof told us that it is not uncommon for students to self diagnose themselves during the span of a class due to all the disorders we study...basically I already think I have developmental cognitive problems...basically due to errors in reason and maladaptive thinking i am on the fast track towards developing a mental disorder...and this was only the first class...he gave us a counselling help line # to call...
in anatomy well lets just say we have done a weeks worth of work in the span of 24 hours...help...
oh and some guys asked me to be in their study group...I said no...
then I waited for the bus today and waited and waited and waited....
bought groceries and came home...made supper-consisting of a toasted bagel...and while reading an email forgot about it...
smoke? what? where is that coming from???? yes, it was my bagel...now a lump of coal...my early christmas gift....
all I could think about was if the smoke alarm went off and my apartment building got evacuated the firefighters would find me in my pajama shirt with crap all over my face ( i put a mask on cause I am having a stress breakout....) and two pieces of sad looking bagel...
so I am madly opening windows and waving wet cloths around the smoke detector and turning on the bathroom fan...I am doing this for quite awhile sadly watching a great billow of grey smoke move from the kitchen to the living room...and very slowly out the window...
2 things to be thankful for, my neighbor did not walk by and see me in said state...and the alarm never went off...small blessings but right now, it is enough.
and so here I sit, with a broken borrowed toaster oven (that me and my roomie have had for a grande total of 4 days) an anatomy textbook, my blob (of course)...and some cheese...
so Kath, yes I will try and continue studying, and being productive....but I can't calm down, I just can't! your son was the inspiration for this post and Ry, I hope you enjoy my public shame...
oh and I picked up a shift this week so I have 3 now...because my life is a monopoly game and I keep landing on boardwalk...
on the way to school this morning the bus driver wouldn't let me off and so i missed the connecting bus and did not have time to get a coffee at tim's before class...
my psychology prof told us that it is not uncommon for students to self diagnose themselves during the span of a class due to all the disorders we study...basically I already think I have developmental cognitive problems...basically due to errors in reason and maladaptive thinking i am on the fast track towards developing a mental disorder...and this was only the first class...he gave us a counselling help line # to call...
in anatomy well lets just say we have done a weeks worth of work in the span of 24 hours...help...
oh and some guys asked me to be in their study group...I said no...
then I waited for the bus today and waited and waited and waited....
bought groceries and came home...made supper-consisting of a toasted bagel...and while reading an email forgot about it...
smoke? what? where is that coming from???? yes, it was my bagel...now a lump of coal...my early christmas gift....
all I could think about was if the smoke alarm went off and my apartment building got evacuated the firefighters would find me in my pajama shirt with crap all over my face ( i put a mask on cause I am having a stress breakout....) and two pieces of sad looking bagel...
so I am madly opening windows and waving wet cloths around the smoke detector and turning on the bathroom fan...I am doing this for quite awhile sadly watching a great billow of grey smoke move from the kitchen to the living room...and very slowly out the window...
2 things to be thankful for, my neighbor did not walk by and see me in said state...and the alarm never went off...small blessings but right now, it is enough.
and so here I sit, with a broken borrowed toaster oven (that me and my roomie have had for a grande total of 4 days) an anatomy textbook, my blob (of course)...and some cheese...
so Kath, yes I will try and continue studying, and being productive....but I can't calm down, I just can't! your son was the inspiration for this post and Ry, I hope you enjoy my public shame...
Saturday 2 May 2009
Happy Birthday
do you remember when you used to buy me double stuffed oreo's and watch me eat pretty much the whole bag all by myself...I am still amazed that you bought me free goodies all the time and then let me eat them all too...you didn't even need to share them with me. I luv you for that:) And the fact that you cook snacks I like when i come visit you...last time it was biscotti. Oh my word the best biscotti ever!!!! Sometimes i dream of copi tarik with biscotti and miss you. And chai's, although we haven't had a chai and chat for a long time. Right now I am drinking instant flavored coffee, I know, member the french vanilla and mocha:)
It's not that I think of you and think of food, it's just that so many little things in my life bring a memory with you attached...from having my hair curled to putting on my make-up to certain foods and books and movies....ever after...for awhile I thought it would be forever watching ever after...as in we would never move on to another movie. And then there was the Pelican brief. seriously I still do not understand how you could watch that one over and over and over.
Peppernuts!!!! need I say more:)
feeling like the outcasts at wajuk hulu high school, no matter how much of a lame-o I felt like there, I always knew that even you felt you weren't quite good enough and your amazing so I just tried to keep my head up...after all, you were my big sister...and then feeling like a reject at prairie, in three hills...in college and careers:) I am so glad we aren't there anymore...oh my word, I think both our heads are in better places...
lately i realized I have so many memories but really haven't made too many recent moments...I am suffering from a drought of your company:) I live in a desert and am parched for you:) sometimes when I think things they sound deep and kinda cool and then when I write them they look silly and lame...but I hope you laughed at that one...anyway...
so I thought for your gift this year I am giving you back your song...it encouraged and inspired me but I want to share it with you again and make it another moment, a moment of waves crashing the sand and rain pouring down like blessings... I want you to go to your ocean and dance...or just sing...but I hope you dance...I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean, whenever one door closes, I hope one door opens, and promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance and when you have a chance to sit it out...I hope you dance...
happy birthday...now go put on your stereo and crank the volume and grab one of your many children and dance:)
It's not that I think of you and think of food, it's just that so many little things in my life bring a memory with you attached...from having my hair curled to putting on my make-up to certain foods and books and movies....ever after...for awhile I thought it would be forever watching ever after...as in we would never move on to another movie. And then there was the Pelican brief. seriously I still do not understand how you could watch that one over and over and over.
Peppernuts!!!! need I say more:)
feeling like the outcasts at wajuk hulu high school, no matter how much of a lame-o I felt like there, I always knew that even you felt you weren't quite good enough and your amazing so I just tried to keep my head up...after all, you were my big sister...and then feeling like a reject at prairie, in three hills...in college and careers:) I am so glad we aren't there anymore...oh my word, I think both our heads are in better places...
lately i realized I have so many memories but really haven't made too many recent moments...I am suffering from a drought of your company:) I live in a desert and am parched for you:) sometimes when I think things they sound deep and kinda cool and then when I write them they look silly and lame...but I hope you laughed at that one...anyway...
so I thought for your gift this year I am giving you back your song...it encouraged and inspired me but I want to share it with you again and make it another moment, a moment of waves crashing the sand and rain pouring down like blessings... I want you to go to your ocean and dance...or just sing...but I hope you dance...I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean, whenever one door closes, I hope one door opens, and promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance and when you have a chance to sit it out...I hope you dance...
happy birthday...now go put on your stereo and crank the volume and grab one of your many children and dance:)
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