Dear Jack

When you said the second hardest thing in life is choosing where to eat, and the hardest thing in life was choosing what to eat, I did laugh and tease you about what you were going to do if you were to go on a date. But that conversation got me to thinking, and finally I wrote your appreciation note with that chat in mind. You, of course, caught my fumbling attempt to make you think about making a choice, a definitive, once for all choice. That one choice having been made, would then imply you would be stuck with whatever it is you chose. This made sense to me at the time, you see my whole life I have been taught I had to choose.
But once again i am thinking. Actually, I have been reading, reading about a man who would probably agree with you...a man who believed it wasn't so much about choice but about faith. And it is not so much about what he would choose to eat but more about eating what was prepared for him. His name is Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a German theologian.
I still think it's quite amazing that the entire Batam trip you never actually ordered a drink or meal for yourself but simply ordered what the person next to you was eating. So to take back what I said earlier, or rather wrote earlier...(I love taking back what I say...it's a gift of mine to say things I am not quite sure of, then take them all back...since i said them, I can right:) I think your philosophy on life is quite true, trusting a friends choice in food is the best kind of friendship. And maybe it's not so much about the food as about who you are eating with to begin with.

As to free thinking, and being a free-thinker...just think of me as a bit of a bossy older sister when I say these things to you, I don't know why but you are someone whom I have started worrying over, I didn't choose to, really, it happened as I got to know you a bit...anyway, this one might get a bit muddied since I am not quite sure what you mean by a free-thinker...is it simply open-mindedness?...but here are some of my thoughts...freedom in our thoughts, to think anything we want is quite fun, to allow our imaginations to fly away, to be creative, to have that kind of freedom is wonderful. Freedom from our thoughts, if the freedom you are talking about is to be free from our perspective of the world, to be exonerated from living with integrity between what we believe and how we act...I believe that sort of freedom can lead to craziness...our bodies hold our physical presence in one place, and so too, I think our free thinking, is hemmed in by how we work it out in our lives...I am not sure if I said any of this clearly...but i did want to write something down, even if it comes out silly and I take it all back later...:)...I don't pretend to be any sort of expert on anything...but I did want you to know, It was lovely chatting with you...Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year...

my role

today is our christmas dinner...I decided to take the day off...and didn't even use my nose to smell...mum has been slaving away on turkey dinner all day and I basically...um...did the usual...I slept. Well, actually I went for a walk and exercise this morning with dad and as we were coming home he kept saying we had done a good walk and wasn't it nice to accomplish something so early in the day. I hummed my agreement and went back to bed...then mum and dad's friends took us for a Peking Duck feast...I feasted...then I came back home and went to bed...again. Mum had sweet potatoes, punkin pie, jello, turkey going all afternoon...I slept. I woke up briefly and asked for coffee...it magically appeared. Then the potatoes burnt...poor mum, she has no proper kitchen so she has been cooking a turkey dinner on two floor and running three flights of stairs all day...and I didn't even use my nose to help with the potatoes...our guests had an open bottle of wine in the kitchen...in order to make amends for my behaviour all day...I grabbed a glass, poured in a generous amount...and offered it to mum...she had just scraped out the potatoes of the pot and was not in a very happy mood...she accepted my apology...and from then on I followed her around with a glass and 'helped'...she cut the turkey, I held the glass to her mouth...here mum...sometimes when none of the capable sisters are around I have to think of creative ways to offer my help...cause I ain't no cook...anyway...poor mum, poor potatoes...I need to go now...work is calling...mum, mum, I'm coming:)

And God bless us ...everyone.

In a great big world, full of people, one can feel very little. As time passes, and responsibility increases one can feel very old. When there is so much going on around you, so much and only one you, one can feel very overwhelmed. And when everything else is moving but you are standing still, one can feel forgotten.
That's why I like Christmas, because Christmas that I know, everything slows down and as much as you soak in the present, you also step back in time, and enjoy all that has been. It is a magical moment, and the best part is you don't have to go anywhere...everyone just sits down:) You say the same words that you have said your whole life. You do the same things you have always done...tradition. Christmas is...
a little bundle...an eternal hope...a Savior and the promise never gets old. It never looses it's power to make me a believer...on that note...God bless us...God bless us...everyone.

How many Asian young men can sleep lengthwise in a double bed?

Camp. The most luxurious camp I ever went to, happened. You missed it. It was a master plan by the leaders and students all forming a leadership team, everyone had there part, everyone had to toe some sort of line and far be it from them to step out:) And everyone was held accountable at debrief...after debrief, after debrief...
it was a little like a nursing care plan (LInds only you can share in this feeling:)
Everything ran according to schedule, but it wasn't that, that made me so astonished. I have seen schedules work before...but here, everyone worked the schedule together, we rehashed it so many times how could one not know what to do... to see everyone on the same page and just 'do' the schedule made me realize why some people love organization so much. When you do it well, people understand their roles and feel comfortable. Sharing leadership also worked out well too. No one dropped the ball...it was kinda scary. Some of the kids were 15...I could be their mother...but I am still in university...they thought that was a bit weird, but so do I, get in line folks.
Anyway, the day before camp ended there was a soccer match between all leadership groups, those from I and S and then the slum kids as well. Soccer is a violent sport, 1 hour after play started there were two head injuries and dubious wrist injury and several scrapped knees and shins. Hello people we are Christians!!!!!!
I just finished my unit on brain injuries and increased intracranial pressure...headache and nausea that won't subside...not so good...not able to focus eyes...really not good...throwing up...ahhhhhh I was like, we should get these kids checked out by a Doctor...apparently in some counties the Doctors don't actually show up to the hospital...they looked at me funny for mentioning a hospital visit...so one boy who was from my team from S got to go on a ferry and get his head checked that evening...but the slum boy who was throwing up slept at the church that night...he was cared for by the church we partnered with and I just couldn't help but think that life isn't fair. I think he suffered through and hopefully just had a very bad concussion. But the fact that he couldn't go for help made me so sad.
I did what I could...I took their pain level, "Now then, between 1 and 10 with 10 being high and 1 being no pain, what is your pain level now?"...what a joke:) but it helped me know how they were handling. Every 15 minutes I was doing a pupil check. "Look into my eyes!" All in all I did nothing but I was there and although inside I was thinking, "How do I wrap a wrist? I don't remember how to wrap a wrist. What if it swells after I wrap it? What am I going to do? No one asked me to write a nursing care plan where I couldn't refer them to a Dr.? What is this? Where is the wrist? what should it look like? How do I wrap a wrist?"
Outwardly I think I said something about stabilizing the wrist...eventually someone else said sling and soon she was all wrapped up like a wee little present. At the end of the day it wasn't me who did anything but I had fun, (yeah I know I am a sick sick person) all I could think about was a girl crying silent tears saying, "I don't want to go home yet, I don't want to go home yet." She was sent home to discover that she had a hairline fracture. Merry Christmas...will be all over her cast.
And now it's over, I will miss all the late night meetings, the bright cheerful faces, the food, singing, the organization:) but I am happy to have some chill time, I am very tired and have a man voice from a cold I caught in I. not only do I look like justin beiber I sound like him too:)
Merry Christmas ALL,
PS the answer is a very comfortable 4...seriously everything is smaller here, I am like a giant...

is this my life?

I live in a church...

I am on a mission trip...with high school and early college age kids...

I have devotions, reflections, quiet time, worship at least twice a day...

I find that when I am visiting my parents I am always amazed with just how much church one can do. I mean church can encompass someone's whole life. You can go to church all day long. You can be with the same people all day long...it is like going to the Stepford cul-de-sac except Christian.
I like it. Everyone spontaneously starts singing, people pray all day...you can say Bible and people know what your talking about. It's pretty incredible...anyway, this is just so not my life...

overweight

i am leaving in 3 days...I am leaving...in three days...I am leaving...
Pa, remember how I joked that I didn't have any room in my suitcase for clothes so i would just wear my bikini the whole time I am visiting and you didn't laugh...well, it might not actually be that funny after all...it might come true...
Today my doorbell got rung off the hook...package, package, package...and one of them...the delivery guy wouldn't let me take, he carried it in cause he thought it was too heavy for me...I cried alittle as he hefted into the house...thinking about me, staying with you guys in your apartment connected to the church...in my bikini...all of a sudden my joke was not so funny...
yesterday I was worried that the packages wouldn't arrive and I would let my niece and nephew down and that my sister would loose respect for me, I would loose my status as favorite single aunt...all of these thoughts running thru my head and then this morning the package arrived...and then just a bikini was running around in my head...

sadly I am taking an exam tomorrow...a very scary one...I should be thinking about renal failure, hepatomegaly, nursing managment for hypertension...instead I am getting hypertension, from thinking about packing my luggage, and how much I'll have in overweight.

30 flirty and not 13 anymore

whew I am 30...so happy to be here...the 20's took forever...and now, I am 30:)



ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I have gotten birthdayed left right and central...it all started off with a visit from Armstrongs, then an evening with Linds (which has become sort of a tradition...a much luved one for me) then a visit from the Bonney's and now roommate night...

I am not good at big parties, and center of attention things...despite the fact I have a blob and am constantly blobbing about...me...really I am just narcissistic and not gregarious and outgoing at all...which I am not sure is such a positive thing...but we all have our issues now don't we...

so for my birthday, many small one on one things got planned and I have felt very loved and celebrated. I am so blessed. I think maybe cause 29 was such a rough year, 30 has seemed so good. I am just so done with 29. On to something new, and well 30 comes after 29 so bring it. And while I didn't change overnite...life didn't become a fairytale with an A ending on any of my exams...so far:) I still have this really weird and uncharacteristically optimistic regard for 30....I am not usually excited about the unknown...the untried...but somehow, I just know that if I could scrape thru 29...then I can definitely do 30...

thank you parents for having me, thank-you God for planning me, thank you family for supporting me, thank-you friends for accepting me, thank-you to everyone who has taken me on...I am a very blessed 30.