i feel like......

I actually feel like crap cause I worried myself sick...literally, I have two clinical days making me wonder why I got so uptight about that demonstration exam...but as for that exam...

well the story is long, full of anxiety, first I had to wake up, then get the bus, listen to two educated people have a very interesting conversation about their fly being undone, and the amount of classes they allow themselves to skip (apparently there is a 3 class quota...who knew) then class, the class was on burns and what nursing managment of burns would be...don't anyone get burnt, I have no idea what was said in class...then final cramming for my test...I was hyperventalating about running a tandem insulin infusion with a running IV solution at a proper rate...insulin has to run through a iv pump, but what to do if the volume is too small, run it with a IV bag thats dripping by gravity to keep the veins open, but the insulin line has no ports to attach the other iv line....I was freaking out cause I was like, you can't have insulin running though a line with ports...how am I going to get the two lines into ONE iv site...seriously thought about this for way too long...the answer is put the insulin line into the other gravity line because it has three ports...for some reason I forgot about all the other ports on the gravity line...then it was time to go face my demonstration exam and...dun dun dun...I got a chest tube dressing and morphine IV push...so much for that whole stomach ache on insulin...it took me almost 30 minutes to draw up the narcotic...I was more scared to put drugs into a plastic man with removable and interchangeable body parts (I call him Jake with a vagina but maybe non-nursing students won't find that funny...) than I normally am to put it into a sick person...I was so nervous it hurt to breathe...what is wrong with me...sterile dressing change and I had one minute left to chart and...then I walked out and cried...freaked out on my peeps and 2 hours later...I passed.

I feel good.