these are the golden years...

one day we will look back on all this mess and think, "that was such a great time." Today one of my clinical mates was expressing his views on this fact. And then added, "But i am having such a great time in this moment too." In all of our worries about grades, the stress of assignments, the pressure of working in small groups and being constantly evaluated, being told we are 'adequate', trying to balance all this out with a life, and some people having families of their own already. And he (my classmate) is absolutely loving it!
and then there is me.
Truly, as I was thinking about his completely earnest admission I got alittle bit caught up in the fact that, yes, I am here...in a high intensity, lay it on the line kind of place right now. And I am working towards something that I keep telling myself is worth it in the long run (the looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong run). Every time I sit through a redundant lecture or participate in a time consuming group project I start wondering if i am wasting my time...but then I look around at some of my more 'hopefull' mates and hear them say things like, "this is the golden time...the glory days..." and as much as I really don't think this is very glorious or ever will be, in fact, it may be something I prefer to forget. This moment of deadlines, bus-stops, blizzards, and a sinus infection...is more than just the dreary getting by of it. It's more than just a means to an end. It's life, it's breathing, changing, moving, unpredictable and freakishly scary...and thats enough for me right now. I am at peace with that.

maybe, just maybe it even has a bit of a silverish lining to it...I'm not really the golden years type...so silver might just be as positive as I get, but silver is a precious metal too...

and now I am going to contemplate Lent...