Sometimes I order the prettiest looking picture on the menu instead of what actually tastes good....why do I do this????

I haven't blobbed about my thoughts for awhile so i thought I would just try...for fun.
The last few years of my life I have been wondering about how to 'grow-up' and 'get a life' so my family won't have to worry about me. I have 2 older sisters...so i have been trying very hard to get my dreams out of my head and into the real world where people seem to like to live. It has been abit of a strange trip...I don't even have to do drugs to take a trip; I feel like i trip like a natural born...tripper...
Anyway, so here I am trying to get to the right future me so hard. I mean you have to have the perfect balance of appearing like you have it all figured out and then being quite laid back if anything actually happens to change the 'put togetherness' of it all...well, I am just thinking why? I have decided that I hate the word change, flexible and well, any other word that has to do with trickery...seriously, who needs to think outside of the box; I just want the present. And change is like telling me that life is a box and me wanting it and then there is no present...I am just using the box-because essentially it was the first thing I thought of-and we all know that boxes means presents...right? right?
I feel like i am not a person that jumps to conclusions...
and all i have to say is, i am living the box, stuck in the box, searching the box for that present...
and it's getting a little lame in this box; I am beginning to think that there is no present. And I already miss that present that I never got to see because I am stuck in the box for no reason...seriously, there is supposed to be a stinkin present!
In other news, i am visiting my cuz and her 2 adorable kids...I got 3 job offers and took Subway...but not because i want to get on their TV commercials...really it's cause I want to get the credit I already deserve for being a pro at making sandwiches...I crave respect, someday soon i will post about my official sandwich artist status.