someone decided to tape calvin and hobbes cartoons in the bathroom stalls that I use, this past week I noticed that they had changed the cartoon in my 'favorite' stall and by favorite I mean the one I feel most comfortable taking care of business in...
why am I telling you this...lemme give a bit of a background...because public washrooms are a daily and very real part of my life right now...while I am in school, and even afterwards when I am working, I will be using copious amounts of public washrooms...and this is why I have come up with a very well thought out method, tried and true one might say, of getting the most out of any (and all) the 'facilities' I should happen upon... i do tend to be a bit choosy of which stall I have to use...picking the right stall is half the battle...'they' say that the stalls furthest from the door are usually the most frequented...for that reason I usually choose one near the door...less bum germs...even though i don't actually rest my bum on the seat...it still makes me feel better...
further more I practice public washroom etiquette by NEVER choosing a stall right next to someone already using one...because it's only right to give people a little space and privacy...you've heard of the 6 inch rule of personal space...well public washroom etiquette is quite similar, something like, 'the more stalls between us, the better'...I used to think that everyone knew and understood this principal, but there have been times in my vast experience as a public facilities user I have been amazed at the rudeness of random strangers who insist on sitting right next to you...seriously, the whole washroom is empty but they have to choose the one right next to you...that kind of togetherness really doesn't promote any feelings of bonding for me...I just keep stairing down their shoes until they leave...I can't help it, these feelings of dislike just well up inside me...
also, if there is any option of using a single occupancy public washroom-be it designated for nursing mother's, handicapped, or the elderly-use it...don't butt in line and use it before the nursing mother, wheelchair bound individual or your grandma...wait your turn, but still, take every opportunity to avail yourself of these miracle rooms...they don't happen often and can sure take a load off your mind...
another little known, but very important rule for saving yourself from the embarrassing situation of having to apologize for the smell after you've done your business is...never poop in a public toilet if other people are in there too...just don't do it. You can pee, do some deep breathing, wait for the moment to pass...leave so you aren't tempted by the easy access of a toilet because you can't afford to lose control, keep calm...you could pretend your doing your morning stretches as you try and find a comfortable position to wait for an empty facility...try another washroom...don't do anything too strenuous...cause that could be very problematic...just don't poop in company...it's not cool...there is nothing like some space and quiet to do the job right.
and with that back ground info, i will go right back to my story...they changed the calvin and hobbes cartoons in my favorite stall so I thought, they probably changes the cartoons in all the stalls...and because I was curious, and I luv calvin and hobbes...I changed it up, stepped out of the routine and used the middle stall (if your following the first rule of not taking an adjoining stall-in a washroom with three stalls....NEVER use the middle stall) I was just peeing so I thought, just this once I could break rule #1...so i am reading about Calvin's dad reading him a bedtime story, and Calvin is like, I hope this is a good one 'cause the last one put me right to sleep...(haha, kind a funny) but then Calvin's dad starts telling him this horror story, and the attack of the enchanted hand, ending with, and no one knows where that hand went...and then all of a sudden, there's this hand and Calvin's dad is being attacked and Calvin faints...Calvin's dad walks out of the room muttering, 'why haven't I done that sooner...'
to make my point in the simplest way possible...sometime during the horror story telling and Calvin fainting...I lost 'control' in the middle stall...the only redemption is that no one else was in the washroom at the time...rule 3 is still intact...
from now on I am just going to read the new cartoons in 'my' stall...if i get really curious about what the other stalls cartoons are, I am just going to pop my head around the door and make sure i am 'empty' when i do...but there will be no sitting, and no more middle toilets...because in a public washroom one can never be too carefull....
2 comments:
I don't know what to say... I'm a little shocked and disgusted. Until this very moment, I did not know that girls pooped. Perhaps I forced myself to believe that such dainty creatures actually could not perform such a dirty task, but here you have it. There it all is in your blog. Plain as day, a horribly long, horrendous account of a girl (worse yet, my own cousin) and her pooping regime.
We need to not have contact for a little while... I'm gonna need some time to get over the shock.
these are some intense rules. but i have to say, i have heard the exact opposite, that the stalls closest to the door are most used. uh-oh, what's the truth?
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