Wow...

"What's wow?" asks Danny Kaye...to which Bing Crosby replies..."It's in between ouch! and BOING!"
Wow indeed.

Tuesday's nursing class I usually decide to plan my week...it's all about selective hearing and in that class I choose to hear myself think, however, today Linds and I were laughing; our prof was actually funny...get this in class we learned that 3/4 quarters of HIV is spread heterosexually and mostly due to people like football stars who sleep with lots of girls...(I am thinking the winnipeg blue bombers...and then freaking out...did she actually just say that????????) Seriously, it was hilarious...the winnipeg blue bombers are spreading HIV all over canada...it was so ludicrous I almost laughed my totally embarrassing screech of death (but by some miracle I didn't) oh and then she was talking about how people become infertile as they age...and when talking about sperm counts and conception she said, 'they start out crazy swimming fiends and after awhile to get one up there is a huge accomplishment, after awhile they need a boat'...I don't know but today she was actually kinda funny...don't think either of those will be on the test next week...too bad, cause thats what I got out of tonight...

Also sunday school and bible study and commitment to going to both and trying to think and process thru God's love and how I plan to put that into action in my own day to day...you think it sounds simple and then you try to unpack God's love...people it's huge...

the usually emotional freak out on family and then a couple additional one's on friends...

You know how some prof's can do no wrong, and even getting a bad grade from them is like, almost an honor because they are so amazing and make you think and ponder. so,who cares what grade you get....basically I don't ever feel that way about any of my profs anymore...I mean I could have gotten a D from Mr. Lewis and thought he was doing me a favor...and now I feel like,
people. I sit in your lectures for hours on end and listen to you wax on about english and hamlett and literary analysis and then you go and give me bad grades...I don't have time for this...english sucks and I officially can't write and have no style and don't have the ability to be creative on paper...I hate that I am just not getting it fast enough...

I was thinking about doing a series of blobs on a different memory of Ste for all the days of november up until the 13th...just sort of to get some stuff down since this blob is a bit of a diary for me, it's like a witness to my thoughts...but the whole not being able to write issue came up and basically I was like, I can't write...meeeh
It is sad to forget him and not be able to bring stuff up as redily; I don't have pic's of him around much anymore, and most of the people here don't even know I ever had a bro (other than my close friends) it's just more letting go...oh and I work on the 13th...which always is a bit of a lame thing to do...being in the city far from the parentals...wearing a safeway straightjacket and asking people if they have their club card or airmiles today...usually makes for a great emotional experience...this year the fam didn't even remember his birthday other than me...and no one wrote me so it's was just lame...not like I want a party or anything (really I don't think anything will make it better) but even the moments you set aside to remember can end up being a gigantic pile of glass...I don't know where I am going with this blob anymore...it ending up being a real downer...oh well, if you want badly written prose and awkwardly emotional revelations well, you've come to the right place...
wow...