oh the pessimist in me...

this is my last year of school, yet I still worry about how incompetant I am and if I can actually graduate...I mean how can I write an intelligent paper on domestic violence and it's impact on the individual, family, community and culture, to entire worldview...if I can't find my wax strips...

i am trying to work towards an overseas assignment and putting together contacts and emailing people and waiting for responses and seeing deadlines loom and realizing I am going to need alot of good reviews from pofessors before I even get cleared to go....deep down I don't think it will happen but when I think of staying in one place too much longer a big part of my heart shrivels up and howls (yes, this is possible)...

and lately I have been worried that I will have nothing in common with my sisters the next time I see them...maybe we will have nothing to talk about...they will tell me the joys and trials of motherhood and I have no context for that...and they will ask me what I do with my life and I will say...I sit at the computer...and then I sit in class....and then I sit on the bus.... but can we still be friends?


at some point in the future I will possibly, maybe, if I can pass this next assignment, become a professional..."I don't feel like a professional." also, I think it is kind of a bad word in my family too...so basically I feel like I am joining the dark side...

wow...this has been brought to you by the season fall, the color grey and "I think my periods coming soon"....


school is REALLY REALLY REALLY making me a bit crazy....but there is only one more month...by this time next month I will be just about done...if I pass, which reminds me...where are those stupid wax strips!!!!

pumpkin pie and objectivity

 I like pumpkin pie.

I hate objectivity. I hate that people pass that term around like it's jam and all you need for a complete sandwhich of thought. You have the basic bread of information now just make a perfect sandwhich brought to you by that special ingredient...objectivity. Just be objective, show some objectivity, well if you look at that objectively....it's like looking at it before you added the term objectively to it....well, thats just not good enough. What a crazy thing to do....how can you process and analyze without objectivity? In order to quantify how you are processing your information...basically you always want it to end with...objectivity.

I object!

I have no objectivity.

yup. (Not like you all didn't know that anyway)

and subjectivly speaking...I don't think anyone else has too much of that perfect ingredient either...

slogan: Postmodern and lost in subjectivity.

slogan: Objectively...objecting...to being...an object. this has been pure nonsense but I am tired...