confession

i am going to skip church tomorrow....

justification...

3 midterms next week....

how do feel about next week...terror comes to mind

on a side note, my school is really into Evolutionary creationism...and here's my 'almost' problem with that....if we just evolved how are we any more special than the rest of creation ( the whole made in the image of God fixation)....and here's what my school essentially believes...we aren't...bottom line, in a nutshell, I truly see that my school thinks that humans are a part of a greater whole, a unique part but no more integral to the general story line than say...ummm a fern... In fact this week was the anniversary of Darwin's birth and also the publication of his book, can't remember the exact name at the moment but that apparently was why my bio prof was speaking in chapel this week....because it is a milestone week in scientific communities all over the world...they party apparently, and he said he was going to one...(I wondered what people who spend more time with virus, plants and specimens all thought a party involved and then I stopped wondering cause I have no clue)
Also in the school student union run paper, they ran an article completely shredding a providence seminary prof who argued that his brother (born with a severe disorder) who could not communicate and also could not use his arms or legs, gave value, beauty and meaning to the nuns who took care of him, because he was made in the 'image of God', serving him and the value of his life, being more important than deforestation issues or whale rights...
Anyway, I can totally deal with the fact that the earth was not created in a literal '6 days' but have had trouble grasping the whole...where do people fit into the whole scheme of things as far as hierarchy of importance (common, we all know that life is a big scale of measurement)....and then i start thinking I am a total 'lamb' and follower without any brain of my own cause as I look at 'man's greatest weakness it usually gets back to a pride issue...of thinking we are more important than eachother, of placing our needs above others, but what about grass and rocks and trees?????
Party line...God sent Jesus to save us from our sins, he wanted a relationship with us, but if God is big enough to save me and my chemical imbalanced-ness...than wouldn't He be big enough to make say, rocks and trees praise him too? It seems to come up alot in psalms and in Job, I was kinda reading over God's questions, my fav right now is "What is the way to the abode of light? And where does darkness reside? Can you take them to their places? Do you know the paths to their dwellings? seriously who puts light away...that is such crazy thought... I am just thinking about this lots cause it's a reality here at cmu...and anyway, one thing the textbook said about evolution is that it is sort of a hypothesis of how things relate to eachother, by their structure, function and right down to how scientists study each organisms specific DNA ...the word that stuck out to me is relationship...cause it seems to be a big word in christianese circles but used only between people...cause apparently we are the center of creation...we were wrong about the earth being the center of the universe...but how do we relate to the world around us, where do I fit in my ecosystem? basically all this has made me think of things from how little I respect grass to the amount of garbage I contribute to landfills and do I maintain stuff I already have or do I just throw it away and get something new...(the latter of which is so much what I do...it awful how much I pitch)...anyway, I am just thinking, so I thought I would think it all over the blob...thinking over...
and I am still going to skip church tomorrow...