farewell to blogville

I am taking a brief hiatus, it would be nice if it actually last for awhile though it might mean that i got a life instead of had to blog about trying to get one...thats kind of what blogging has turned into lately...a little bit of a peek but only as much as I want you to see...and then I start doing that with the whole world and realize one day that I am a virtual, virtual Dwight Shroot...where everything is exactly the same except I can fly...
I think thats ultimately the point, I am not fooling anyone but myself, so off i go...back into the real world where I can't fly anymore and i loose control and things are a bit more grey than I would like and life is about living...not blogville-therapy...
but just in case you wanted to know, Clay and Kayla are married and it was such a priveledge and joy to be a part of their wedding. I didn't really break down until they danced their first dance ( you have to understand that they have been dancing together for years and are both amazing dancers). Watching my friend sweep across the floor being led by her new husband was this huge romantic thing but then i looked close and could see her enjoying that moment and as Anne would say, "drinking it in" closing her eye's and just being in that moment. celebrating her big day by dancing with the man she loves...i bawled, but stayed behind linds so i wouldn't be seen...
then getting her house ready with alex and linds and heading out at 4:30am the next day to come home to everything i left behind...
I started blogging cause i was in this great adventure with these same great friends, full of anticipation, anxiety and desperation to connect with someone. And at the wedding I realized I found connections with those girls that have lasted thru highs and lows and even the everyday in between...It 's isn't what I thought I needed at the time or what i was striving for but God is good and His plans have been filling up alot of the emptiness in me...so instead of this uber career as a midwife saving lives in the wilds of asia i celebrated friendship this week and as the good book says, my cup runneth over.