Death and Love

Yup, this week is summed up with two deaths on my shift at the hospital...one man was around the same age as my dad which made me want to go give my dad a big hug. It was just tough and I had to go to see my sis and just talk with her or explode...So anyway had a good chat with Andi and she is full of wisdom so I just need to listen to it.
Other than that I am happily enjoying a day off in a stretch of 15 on. It is nice:) I hung out a bit with Andi and the kids, paid a bill and am now updating family all over the world about whats going on and then I might go on a run later...that one is really pushing it though. I can only do so many planned things in a day...I don't know why but the more I plan the more I put off the plan...so running will probably get postponed indefinitely.
And as to the luv, read some good lines in Thomas Kempis today...about his paraphrasing Romans 13...some of the coolest were about Love seeing the danger or reality of loving but flaming higher...I think that love is some mushy romantic feeling not able to see; except through rose colored glasses. But in Thomas' view it is sturdy (manly) and sees the reality of the situation and presses on. It just made me think that if God sees me and flames higher:) I guess just learning to accept my worth thru God's eyes and learning to live in that reality rather than the mess that I feel looking to other people as I bumble thru my days...there is so much pressure to measure up, and keep your game face on, or meet with certain expectaions. Yup, those are all superficial lies and the truth of the matter is that God looks at us, in our messy complicated existence and simply burns brighter.
So I guess I just had devotions on my blog but really it helps me process the stuff in my head so I concider it therapy of the best kind...but mostly it's free.
I also went and had a visit with Ste, haven't done that in a while. It was sunset and I just rambled on about life and little things that have happened this summer and well, life. It's good to get some perspective and see that death isn't the end-even when someone dies that is too young or in such sad circumstances as I had this week at the hospital. Cause the truth of the matter is...is that love burns higher:)