ok so I haven't really felt like blogging much lately. I have found that my communicative skills have suffered a severe blow due to the lack of emailage I have been getting since being home. It is like this...I am addicted to email. I open my account and wait to see if I've got mail; I luv the little header that says...you have 7 new messages...and then i know at least 3 have to not be adds or bills...so I get excited about life and then I'm happy.
Lately my headers have been saying you have no new messages. This makes me sad, which then makes me uncommunicative and unblogworthy...
I am addicted to this virtual life.
So what does an addict do about this strange second life. These little black markings that take on too much meaning and have no tangible expression in life other than to make me feel somehow, someway, real...weird, I know.
Well I could be like dwight and create a second, second life...but that is silly, sorry dwight.
So I won't.
I've decided instead to go into mourning. I am going to mourn my virtual life, my precious emails. I can do this simple gesture of appreciation to a mode of communication that has become so important to my life. To my emotional stability.
Seriously, it was getting so bad I was thinking that in order to have real friendships with my friends here in the hills of three I would have to make them sit down with a pad and paper and write convo's with me instead of talking.
Then one of my cousins said I come across much funnier on paper than I am in real life...so virtually I'm hilarious and really I actually quite un-funny.
So I will mourn. It will be a period of time set aside to just take stock of words that I can write and ways of expressing myself that I find very comfortable. Communication that does not require me to be awkward and in person and those subtle silences and correct eye-contact timing and quick witty phrases. Apparently real life calls me to rack my brain to find the right thing to say in the moment and put my foot in my mouth and also to not be very funny.
so, goodbye virtual funny self...
on to life as me and in person.
I will come back to visit my funny virtual twin from time to time...but for now, I mourn.
1 comment:
Hey Maria,
Hope all is well... Life is good over here. We are 27 weeks along now and I'm feeling great... which always helps! Let me know if you are ever in Calgary. I'd love to see you. Thinking about ya!
Post a Comment