Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

well, the adventure of this house is just about over. There have been fun times here and also some stressful moments, of course the last week added it's share of craziness.

Last friday my roomate washed and dried a pen with her last load of laundry-the landlord's sheets too-and everything came out blue...including the drier...

she came up the stairs scared and slightly teary and said, " I washed a pen in my laundry...then I dried it too." I calmly went downstairs with her to see the damage...my only words were..."oh, shit" which was kinda bad of me since she was almost crying already. But she was flying away that day and I would be left to face the landlords so I thought I had alittle right to be a bit harsh...anyway, we decided to turn to the internet...

google is amazing, and so is nail polish remover but the drier is still a shade blue-er than it used to be...

then the cats decided to make friends with the next door neighbours porch which made them a bit unhappy since they arrived from our house and I still hadn't taken them to the humane society...finally rounded them up with tuna one night and into a box with a lid went mama, and five kittens...drive half and hour to the society and once there are told to sign a form saying they will be put down if "no adoption arrangments are made for them in a suitable amount of time"....that was traumatizing...kinda like signing a death note...so off we went to buy copius amounts of chocolate to deaden the ol conscience...

then my other roomate had been wanting to watch a scary movie together all summer, the other roomates at the time didn't like scary movies so we would always find something else to do... finally with just me and her left I said, "ok." it started out with a jaws night which was fine cause we don't live near water...then the past few days of cleaning have been ended with nights of watching scary movies... we watched silence of the lambs to start things off...there is a character on silence of the lambs who basically has one line...it's the captive...and the whole movie she is either howling "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" or saying "I want my mommy" over and over again....

so during our cleaning in the daytime me and my roomie would be frustrated something is not getting clean or I would mention the drier again and then we will look at eachother and just start howling, "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!" AHhhhhhhhhhhh" echoing back the pain and frustration of moving and somehow it helped...it got to the point where I would just pick up the cleaning supplies and start wailing..."I want my mommeeeee!!!!" over and over again.... my roomate didn't seem to mind, she would just echo right back with "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!"

then today she left and I am alone, in the house for two more nights with boxes, rags, unwiped walls, and a stove top that won't get clean..."AHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" I start wailing but there is no echo, no friendly laughing face to help me...just silence...and it's getting darker outside, sirens are going off two streets down... and I am all alone...

"I want my mommy"

I owe you all an email...so I'm just going to blob

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I'm moving. I hate moving when I don't want to...but I luv moving when it means i get to travel far far away...I am going across town...lame...but I must move, the owners want their house back. Fine.


Work, my two best girls quit, one gave her two weeks and the other just didn't show. These are girls I have bleed tears of total swimsuit boredom with, laughed with, and yes sometimes even cried with...and now they are gone. I am a bit sad.

The kittens came back..you know the ones that were born in the basement window well...they now live under the front poarch...what am I gonna do...they are so cute...and I can't have them, the owners don't want them and well the humane society doesn't always feel like the humane way of dealing witha dorable kittens sometimes...little furballs growing up in a cage...the mum has been so amazing...I can't believe how she has hid and re-hid and transported her 5 babies around our yard and house the last few weeks...

I had company last night, they arrived at about 11 after driving 12 hours and then I kept them up till one chatting and sent them off with cereal....I am such great host...feel kinda bad about that...

school is starting soon...a sense of impending doom has started to attatch itself to this coming semester due to the amount of papers I am required to write...school....doom...schoom....yes, schoom it is.

I am a fourth year student nurse!


...nope still doesn't sound very cool...oh well...i never really was cool, shouldn't start now...

I have had a lovely summer. I luv you all...thats all for now... 

missing important days

your turning 60 this year, I remember a few years ago you were already telling people you were 59...I think you were only 56 then, we both laughed and now time has passed and you are 59:)...

anyway I don't write as much as I should and I don't send you the birthday packages or even cards that I should but I just want you to know that this year, your birthday has been on my mind and my heart so much...I think it's cause I went to Linds parent's combined 50th birthday-it was put on by Linds and she invited friends and relatives of her parents throughout their lives...it was so sweet and I only noticed this because Linds mum made a very eloquent thank-you speach about how looking around the room she saw her life in stages by the people that came to the party she said that by looking at the people around the room she remembered the good times of each stage of her life...I think, right then. I just thought of you...and who will celebrate you...who will show up to remind you that not just now, or even a very long time ago...but every step along the way there were good times represented by people in the same hemisphere, country, city, room as you...that night I missed all those moments I haven't been able to show you my presence through the years, all the parties I can't not plan or forget to plan or just stress out about and then make you plan anyway:)...to celebrate you.

now I know you and dad are ultra positive people...and you will be tired anyway from all your travels so you might not even remember your party...but I still think a little celebrating and just being able to be with someone you shared life with is special...and mam, we have shared some life you and me:) I miss not being able to celebrate your birthday...

so I am sending my heart to you on the worldwide web...and wishing you the best party ( hope dad and your friends are planning it well) and when you think about starting a new year and wrapping up all the other years...well I hope you know how special you are...and how many people would love to be in that room with you...celebrating with you...and I will be thinking of you all week until then too...

I LOVE YOU

Furrry gifts and Faith

The other day my roomate saw our window well coverings to the basement windows were asque, peeked in...a family of kittens and their mother. Calico mother with two orange one black and two calico babies...the babies were dry with eyes open so maybe not brand new but still...so cute. We all came out and ooo'd and awed over the little bundles of joy. I even thought of emailing my landlords with and email announcing they were grandparents to baby kittens...but then the reality of it all set in.
A stray mother cat, our window well, we are all leaving in a month, babies are fragile, who will take care of them? What are we going to do?
I went down the street to the neighborhood cat lady and asked her if she lost a cat or was interested in kittens...she said no, she told me to take them to the humain society. After coming home and talking with roomates it seemed like this was probably the best option for this little family...but today. One by one the babies are leaving, the mother is rehiding her family. We are down to two little ones....I'm torn. part of me is so sad, disapointed I can't help but then there is another part that is happy that this mother is so capapble, she is taking this on, and she has decided to go.
Today I learned about faith. Faith isn't a belief so much as a trusting relationship...sometimes I find this earthshattering...so even though I don't feel it, can't muster some, never seem to follow through with...I got me some faith. BOOM. 

the fall of rome...

Underdogs. Don't ever cheer for them, what's the point, they are underdogs...success comes very rarely to underdogs...and yet...on saturday there I was, cheering for an underdog. what happened in the first 17 minutes was the team I was cheering against scored and an imperceptible, yet to me audible, sound of the knell which tools death to underdogs of all types went off in my head. This is the end. But because it was a final I decided to stick to the end...it can't get so bad right. There is defeat and then their is complete and utter anihilation.
Right before the second half what should happen again..yes, another goal. Okay, Okay...they can't let a third in-that would be too much-here is to a strong second half....
well, the last sub is subbed in for the underdog...5 minutes later he is injured...no subs left...now they are not only loosing but loosing and playing a man down...
I believe in miracles. I feel like I need to say that at this time. It has no bearing on this story-unfortunately...
Then one after another goals are scored on the team that died about 60 minutes before the end of time or the whistle blow as it were...the battle was over way before the final score of 4-0...but still to go in the history books as a team beaten to a pulp...later on during the trophy presentation that sub...that sub that was no friend of mine...well he was bawling...and bawling...the camera kept panning to his face...they would show the victors and their celebrations and then him...they would show the crowds and fans and then pan back to him...they would show the trophy being engraved and then pan back to him...he got more air time crying than playing...
and then it was over. And I think no one was more happy than those Italians to leave Kiev to never return...as Grandma would say, "Go, Go with God, but just go." there is nothing left for you to conquer here...

i am here

it's fourth year folks...over the past four years and now going into my fifth of back to school madness...i finally got to register for my fourth year classes and slowly see a small speck of light at the end of this...most days i wonder what I'm doing...occassionally i wonder if I have it in me...lots of times worry that I'll never finish...it never ends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and then today happened...not like it was smooth...with me there always has to be a stupid mistake that i overthink or do not understand...we are supposed to register for the courses with the lowest numbers first to get in right...and then register for clinical courses...well...the clinical course happened to have a lower number...i only got half the instructions in my head...had to phone the registrar...have her talk me through registering (this is my fourth year peeps...you would think i would know by now...) and then I got in...I am in...the next year of my life scholastically is mapped out and I am tired just thinking about it...
there are 22 people who will be very sad this fall...only 112  places were available...and i am one of the 112...hurray...but I can't help feeling for the 22...
and no, it didn't feel anti-climactic at all...i earned every click of the submit button as i saw each class fly up on my schedule...4rth year....BOOM

Dear Dad

I love you.

I love that I'm like you

I just wish it was in the...

gentle, pray pacing, preaching, humble,dependable way

not so much the worry, stresser, anxious way...

to my incredible visionary dad

happy your day today.