so I gave a subcutaneous shot on my last clinical day...I'll admit I was nervous, because I knew my instructor was going to be watching me like a hawk and commenting on all the steps...so yeah I acted like I was a newbie and kinda was in semi shock and freak out mode, cept I wasn't really freaking out about giving the shot, just about my instructor micromanaging how I need to give it...protocol, protocol, protocol...the mantra I wake up to and dream of at night...one day it will be just something I do, but right now I am learning to be watched, analyzed, and discussed like some bad experiament or test subject gone horribly wrong...you see you are only actually human if you become a nurse, while your still a nursing student your like a hamster running in circles and getting...no where...meh
well that was a little negativity pooring out...woah....
anyway so then I was basically told to write a 'reflection' on my first injection...i kinda laughed a little, and thats when I realized this hamster's got game...cause my first injection took place 4 years ago, in a megacity slum, in the wee hours of the night on someone just born, I gave a baby their vitamin K...so yeah, I will learn your protocols and run my tail off in this wee little cage...i will write a reflection on my subcutaneous injection...and keep writing reflections on what you tell me to write about...and then I will become a nurse and i will leave this little cage to be a person again...right now i am your hamster...soon i will be a human again...because I am spartacus.
Monday, 7 February 2011
Saturday, 5 February 2011
Ever wondered why?
Ok so here's a life long question, a deep thought provoking, profoundly theological conundrum...why are there so many greetings in Pauls letters, the end of all the letters are always full of random greetings...i always wondered why they kept those parts in the bible...I mean who cares about theodocles, and the two women at lystra (not actual quotes from any of the pauline letters) and why the whole 'council' deciding the new testament couldn't edit those parts out when they compiled the new testament...I even bet there were some of the council members who thought exaclty like me, and were like, well scratch those parts-lets only include the essentials of Pauls message...and they probably argued with the long-winded wannabies who wanted all the endless greetings to stay in...the jot and tiddle people you might say.
and that brings me to my long life of questioning...why? Why is this important enough to keep in the bible...those of us skippers can't even use these books for our benefit since the end of these books usually have nothing to do with the actual message of the book, they are just greetings to people we don't know, who are never mentioned again, and so we have to go back and read the entire book anyway. Lots of people had to read those parts for school copious amounts of times, poor preachers have to find reasons for those parts as they exegete their way through a book of the bible, with those of us who were listening to these sermons wondering why did I come today?...
then, I kind of had one of those brilliant light bulb moments where something clicked inside my head...and although I find myself truly happy by this, I do realize that from previous experience, what clicks in my head is not usually the most theological of reasoning or logical by any stretch of the imagination...and just because it clicks in my head doesn't mean it will find any sort of connection in yours...this used to deflate me once I would share out my thoughts in public. Because I found I looked like a bit of an airhead, but now that I know I am a bit of an airhead it doesn't worry me so much that everyone else doesn't get it, cause for me, it clicked...something i wondered about with thoughts like, "is there any point to this," all of a sudden is just quietly, calmly, and for me completely solved.
So here is my reason for why greetings are included in the bible...when you read a letter from someone you haven't seen for awhile and probably miss, you read it lots of times, you like the important parts about whats going on in their life, you get the message but you also aren't with them experiencing the same kind of life they are...you just get a letter about it and live vicariously through it...but the greetings at the end convey the fact that although your far apart...your still connected, you did once live a common existence, it can be a little reminder of where you stand in the writers life too...like when Paul mentions he is even writing the greetings in his own hand (to the Corinthians)...and all of a sudden the "love people you don't like and don't offend the weaker brother in the faith" message becomes less of a chore because he cared so much he even wrote greetings in his own hand....so if you are discouraged and you get this random letter that doesn't address any of the issues in your life at present and you are kinda like meh, they have a nice life but I am so not there right now...then they end it with, luv mum...or luv your sister and your all of a sudden like...oh yeah, your life is a part of my life...and your doing well, I luv my life:)
so my question was answered, why do greetings matter? Cause they ground you in your relationship to the writer and make the message personal, like a holy kiss personal:) and everything in the letter becomes special. Another question is answered, I see the light...maybe more like a candle than a light bulb but it's made reading the greetings and going to those sermons a whole lot more fun...so my friends, sadly there can be no holy kiss for us, but I do send you greetings in the Lord, with my own typing fingers even:)
and that brings me to my long life of questioning...why? Why is this important enough to keep in the bible...those of us skippers can't even use these books for our benefit since the end of these books usually have nothing to do with the actual message of the book, they are just greetings to people we don't know, who are never mentioned again, and so we have to go back and read the entire book anyway. Lots of people had to read those parts for school copious amounts of times, poor preachers have to find reasons for those parts as they exegete their way through a book of the bible, with those of us who were listening to these sermons wondering why did I come today?...
then, I kind of had one of those brilliant light bulb moments where something clicked inside my head...and although I find myself truly happy by this, I do realize that from previous experience, what clicks in my head is not usually the most theological of reasoning or logical by any stretch of the imagination...and just because it clicks in my head doesn't mean it will find any sort of connection in yours...this used to deflate me once I would share out my thoughts in public. Because I found I looked like a bit of an airhead, but now that I know I am a bit of an airhead it doesn't worry me so much that everyone else doesn't get it, cause for me, it clicked...something i wondered about with thoughts like, "is there any point to this," all of a sudden is just quietly, calmly, and for me completely solved.
So here is my reason for why greetings are included in the bible...when you read a letter from someone you haven't seen for awhile and probably miss, you read it lots of times, you like the important parts about whats going on in their life, you get the message but you also aren't with them experiencing the same kind of life they are...you just get a letter about it and live vicariously through it...but the greetings at the end convey the fact that although your far apart...your still connected, you did once live a common existence, it can be a little reminder of where you stand in the writers life too...like when Paul mentions he is even writing the greetings in his own hand (to the Corinthians)...and all of a sudden the "love people you don't like and don't offend the weaker brother in the faith" message becomes less of a chore because he cared so much he even wrote greetings in his own hand....so if you are discouraged and you get this random letter that doesn't address any of the issues in your life at present and you are kinda like meh, they have a nice life but I am so not there right now...then they end it with, luv mum...or luv your sister and your all of a sudden like...oh yeah, your life is a part of my life...and your doing well, I luv my life:)
so my question was answered, why do greetings matter? Cause they ground you in your relationship to the writer and make the message personal, like a holy kiss personal:) and everything in the letter becomes special. Another question is answered, I see the light...maybe more like a candle than a light bulb but it's made reading the greetings and going to those sermons a whole lot more fun...so my friends, sadly there can be no holy kiss for us, but I do send you greetings in the Lord, with my own typing fingers even:)
Wednesday, 26 January 2011
What once was boys against girls, now is men vs women
Whaddya wanna play?
Said while looking at the Dad...knowing that games and devotions are always at odds...and never the twane shall meet...but still we ask...
Wanna play a game?
I think the Dad was so tired by this point in the weekend, he acquiesced quite quickly...
and before he could change his mind...we rattle off some suggestions keeping in mind that there are some games dads just don't play...and there are others that the mums don't play with dads...and there are others that andi always wins...while others still that girls just don't see the fun in (Axis and Allies...who cares, it ended, get over WW2 already)...so the selection can be quite small after all these factors are taken into account...
How bout Trivial Pursuit?
now I don't remember who put this one out there, but it was a stroke of pure genius, for, if there was any game that a Dad would stay and play, it would be have to be Trivial...and of course the pursuit to follow it.
Honing in on the Dad's longstanding interest my sister then asks, "which version should we play"...oh no, not another vanilla coke, pepsi-lime, golden oreo's....where is the original when you need it, the plan to entice one father almost imploded before the game ever really began, for if there is one thing, the Dad doesn't do, is mess with the tried and true...and so off I went hunting for THE trivial pursuit, only to find, The Lord of the Rings version, the in-pursuit version, or the millennium version...
but once again, the Dad surprises, he still wants to play...and this is alittle of how the millennium went...
"What is the most common sir name in the United states starting with D?" mums reads to the MEN
"The sir name is the last name right?" the bro-in-law clarifies...my mother chimes in, "given would be your first, sir would be the family name".
"mum don't help them." my sister interjects...
but then the dad says, "Dagwood!" there was a moment...it struck the women funny I couldn't stop laughing, all i could think of was comics for some reason...I still wonder where dagwood came from..."Dickson?" my bro-in-law chimed in...
"Drurell!" the Dad again. "Dick?" my bro-in law returned
They settled on Dickson...it sounded less mennonite...but no, it was Davis...which ended up being even funnier cause that's Dad's best friends last name...basically I was crying...
"What country in Africa was named after their famed elephant tusks?" the dad asked...
"Kenya!" I am so sure cause of all the safari's seriously Kenya is Swahili for tusk...deep down I know this is true...the dad has other reasons for thinking this one could be true, he cracks, "Ken-ya pass me my tusks?" for some reason this is hilarious and once more I am crying...
"Congo?" mums suggests, this sound equally good to me...but no, it was the Ivory Coast...who knew, the millennium edition has no imagination what so ever...in the real version of Trivial the answer would have been Mali or something no one could have guessed...the real version wouldn't have asked such a dumb question to begin with...
anyway
those were just some of the trivial moments we shared, the dad and bro in law capturing the title of winning gender by the end of the night...
despite being wrong, I still think that Grizzlies are the largest bear, no matter what Elijah says...
and yes, I did know that Tom Hanks said, "Baseball isn't for crybabies." in A League of Their Own...because i watch movies and I'm smart like that...now if bears talked I am sure I would find them more interesting and learn more about them...
thanks mum and dad for the trip...I loved every minute...even the loosing ones...
Said while looking at the Dad...knowing that games and devotions are always at odds...and never the twane shall meet...but still we ask...
Wanna play a game?
I think the Dad was so tired by this point in the weekend, he acquiesced quite quickly...
and before he could change his mind...we rattle off some suggestions keeping in mind that there are some games dads just don't play...and there are others that the mums don't play with dads...and there are others that andi always wins...while others still that girls just don't see the fun in (Axis and Allies...who cares, it ended, get over WW2 already)...so the selection can be quite small after all these factors are taken into account...
How bout Trivial Pursuit?
now I don't remember who put this one out there, but it was a stroke of pure genius, for, if there was any game that a Dad would stay and play, it would be have to be Trivial...and of course the pursuit to follow it.
Honing in on the Dad's longstanding interest my sister then asks, "which version should we play"...oh no, not another vanilla coke, pepsi-lime, golden oreo's....where is the original when you need it, the plan to entice one father almost imploded before the game ever really began, for if there is one thing, the Dad doesn't do, is mess with the tried and true...and so off I went hunting for THE trivial pursuit, only to find, The Lord of the Rings version, the in-pursuit version, or the millennium version...
but once again, the Dad surprises, he still wants to play...and this is alittle of how the millennium went...
"What is the most common sir name in the United states starting with D?" mums reads to the MEN
"The sir name is the last name right?" the bro-in-law clarifies...my mother chimes in, "given would be your first, sir would be the family name".
"mum don't help them." my sister interjects...
but then the dad says, "Dagwood!" there was a moment...it struck the women funny I couldn't stop laughing, all i could think of was comics for some reason...I still wonder where dagwood came from..."Dickson?" my bro-in-law chimed in...
"Drurell!" the Dad again. "Dick?" my bro-in law returned
They settled on Dickson...it sounded less mennonite...but no, it was Davis...which ended up being even funnier cause that's Dad's best friends last name...basically I was crying...
"What country in Africa was named after their famed elephant tusks?" the dad asked...
"Kenya!" I am so sure cause of all the safari's seriously Kenya is Swahili for tusk...deep down I know this is true...the dad has other reasons for thinking this one could be true, he cracks, "Ken-ya pass me my tusks?" for some reason this is hilarious and once more I am crying...
"Congo?" mums suggests, this sound equally good to me...but no, it was the Ivory Coast...who knew, the millennium edition has no imagination what so ever...in the real version of Trivial the answer would have been Mali or something no one could have guessed...the real version wouldn't have asked such a dumb question to begin with...
anyway
those were just some of the trivial moments we shared, the dad and bro in law capturing the title of winning gender by the end of the night...
despite being wrong, I still think that Grizzlies are the largest bear, no matter what Elijah says...
and yes, I did know that Tom Hanks said, "Baseball isn't for crybabies." in A League of Their Own...because i watch movies and I'm smart like that...now if bears talked I am sure I would find them more interesting and learn more about them...
thanks mum and dad for the trip...I loved every minute...even the loosing ones...
Monday, 24 January 2011
Family Reunion with a Snake
I got to alberta after experiencing-in winnipeg-a few straight days of -40 windchill weather...Calgary was +3 when we landed at 9pm at night....why did I live in winnipeg?
Another surprise was getting to Three Hills and finding my sister Carissa's kids all awake, at about 10pm. They had just arrived from Asia on the 18th and were experiencing jet lag...as a family...it worked out well for me though:) I got to see everyone and when we all went to bed at midnight I thought we could all get a decent sleep...but apparently the kids were back up at 3:30am and my poor sis and bro with them. I had also experienced some trauma as I went to bed that night cause apparently, while i was away, my sister Andi decided to let her son own a snake...let me repeat that, a snake...i made my peace with God before i closed my eye's that night...just in case. As it was i think i was up at 6am ...
you might think we had a horrid day with everyone on either jet lag, new baby sleep, or snake sleep...but it was the best day of my life:)
apparently my sisters and bro in laws are so used to functioning with no sleep they are professionals...I neede a few cups of coffee though...the kids were all taken to the third hill for some type of winter sport that involved riding down the hill at dangerous speeds...the men all took them
and me and my mum and my sisters planned meals and drank tea and ate Mrs Feilds chocolate chip cookies...
then my cousin Kath and her hubbie Aaron came for a visit and then my cousin Ry and Audra and their 3 kids came for a visit and Ben the dog came with my Uncle James, we drank coffe this time and dat a chatted...then it was supper and then we drank more coffee, then we went outside and sat by the fire and drank more coffee, then we came inside to have some sharing and songs and put the rabble to bed...we drank some tea and sadly, Ry and Audra could not be convinsed to stay the night, cause then we would have had 12 kids 10 and under in the house with 9 adults and a snake...I would have even offered up my room to them for the night...but no, apparently this wasn't good enough for Ry and Audra:)...actually just knowing that Kath and Aaron and RY and Audra took the time to come see us was so nice, it was wonderful...it was the best day ever...
and that is the story of family reunions, snakes, but now I have to go get another cup of coffee...
Another surprise was getting to Three Hills and finding my sister Carissa's kids all awake, at about 10pm. They had just arrived from Asia on the 18th and were experiencing jet lag...as a family...it worked out well for me though:) I got to see everyone and when we all went to bed at midnight I thought we could all get a decent sleep...but apparently the kids were back up at 3:30am and my poor sis and bro with them. I had also experienced some trauma as I went to bed that night cause apparently, while i was away, my sister Andi decided to let her son own a snake...let me repeat that, a snake...i made my peace with God before i closed my eye's that night...just in case. As it was i think i was up at 6am ...
you might think we had a horrid day with everyone on either jet lag, new baby sleep, or snake sleep...but it was the best day of my life:)
apparently my sisters and bro in laws are so used to functioning with no sleep they are professionals...I neede a few cups of coffee though...the kids were all taken to the third hill for some type of winter sport that involved riding down the hill at dangerous speeds...the men all took them
and me and my mum and my sisters planned meals and drank tea and ate Mrs Feilds chocolate chip cookies...
then my cousin Kath and her hubbie Aaron came for a visit and then my cousin Ry and Audra and their 3 kids came for a visit and Ben the dog came with my Uncle James, we drank coffe this time and dat a chatted...then it was supper and then we drank more coffee, then we went outside and sat by the fire and drank more coffee, then we came inside to have some sharing and songs and put the rabble to bed...we drank some tea and sadly, Ry and Audra could not be convinsed to stay the night, cause then we would have had 12 kids 10 and under in the house with 9 adults and a snake...I would have even offered up my room to them for the night...but no, apparently this wasn't good enough for Ry and Audra:)...actually just knowing that Kath and Aaron and RY and Audra took the time to come see us was so nice, it was wonderful...it was the best day ever...
and that is the story of family reunions, snakes, but now I have to go get another cup of coffee...
Friday, 14 January 2011
I am still not sure about it...
the new background is not that exciting...i am not sure if it inspires me...at all...I feel like it just looks like a mountain of work...someone wrote in all those books...pages and pages...and I am unable to come up with a measly little post...
I know, and then it just get worse from there, cause then I realize how pathetic I truly am, to be overwhelmed by my own blog, which I can create to say as little or as much as I want it too...anything i choose to write about will do...I can write about nothing even...well I often do actually...but no...I am here...terrified... thinking of those piles and piles of pages written by someone who took time to be far more profound than me...and so I stare at a blank 'new post' page wondering about what to write...I am not even worried about it being worthy or imaginative...just to get something down, it's not even in complete sentences...just like meeting new people and then having to give them a bath as soon as you introduce yourself...yup...thats how terrified I am right now...of my own blog, it's just that scary...
I know, and then it just get worse from there, cause then I realize how pathetic I truly am, to be overwhelmed by my own blog, which I can create to say as little or as much as I want it too...anything i choose to write about will do...I can write about nothing even...well I often do actually...but no...I am here...terrified... thinking of those piles and piles of pages written by someone who took time to be far more profound than me...and so I stare at a blank 'new post' page wondering about what to write...I am not even worried about it being worthy or imaginative...just to get something down, it's not even in complete sentences...just like meeting new people and then having to give them a bath as soon as you introduce yourself...yup...thats how terrified I am right now...of my own blog, it's just that scary...
Sunday, 9 January 2011
the deleted post...
yes mums, i did delete grace...it was wrong you see... i won't go into it anymore...there is nothing more boring than reading anothers half baked or faltering theology...but I have been having a week of merton...my favorite monk...i love how he doesn't have to finish every train of thought into one climactic reasonable point. he lets you wander and take detours while you contemplate his contemplations...it's quite fun, I kind of like the crazy cycle of minds jumping off each other to travel in different directions...also, I feel like there is an eccentric charm in the fact that sometimes he makes no sense at all, possibly because I then feel that I don't have to make sense in my own meandering thoughts about...well everything...because in a world caught up with the bottom line, or a complete sentence, the scientific answer, the party line, linear thinking, or making a decision...there is still a whole lot of mystery out there, there is lots we can't understand or see...
so here's to not having to make sense but having a marvelous time enjoying the ability to use our 'little gray cells' as Hercule Poirot would say and simply taking the time to wonder....
so here's to not having to make sense but having a marvelous time enjoying the ability to use our 'little gray cells' as Hercule Poirot would say and simply taking the time to wonder....
Monday, 3 January 2011
Letter
Well, here I am again, just wanted to say thank you for the 365 days of last year. For family connections that always make me feel loved. And thanks too for all the cool friends I met and also kept. for all the fun moments, thanks. For those moments that I couldn't wait till they ended, well, thanks again for those too. Thanks for things like dreams and goals and work too....
Thanks for You, I was thinking about it, and wondering what I should hope for this year, but I realized you already gave me the whale, you gave me a relationship with you...You can still do all the stuff your planning for me this year, i can always have more, i am kinda needy like that...but i thought I'd just start off the year by saying thank-you...
Thanks for You, I was thinking about it, and wondering what I should hope for this year, but I realized you already gave me the whale, you gave me a relationship with you...You can still do all the stuff your planning for me this year, i can always have more, i am kinda needy like that...but i thought I'd just start off the year by saying thank-you...
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