Blibeddy, Blobetty, Bleeeaaachhhhhh

So here goes....I was going to call this post confessions, but it has now turned into the word vomit I do so well and all you never really cared to know about this past bit in my life...

I started to hate my blog about 4 months ago...I mean viciously hate it with a passion...I thought it was my word vomit and too many uninvited guests were reading it...my sister once told a guy to read my blob if he wanted to know what I was like to ask me out...he never did ask me out...but the point is is that, well after awhile you lose control of this and it can be a bit scary...but really it's my own dumb fault for pouring out my thoughts on the world wide web...seriously who does that!

In Africa on my second set of night shifts I hadn't been sleeping at all during the day, 4 straight days of about 4 hours of sleep total...and then working all night shifts was making me crazy...so one of the german girls had left her half finished bottle of wine on the counter ( she left the country so it was NOT stealing people!) so yes, at 6am I did indeed drink the rest of the bottle and slept for 7 1/2 hours....the rest of my time there the germans mocked me for drinking at 6am...what can I say, I drink to sleep...

I just joined a bible study because a great friend from bible college kinda made me see that I have no accountability in my life...spiritually...I mean, I haven't been to the same church for longer than 3 months ish...in ...well...anyway, the first study was on love and fear...yup, I can almost hear my mother laughing...I would laugh with her except I am actually in the study, so it's just uncomfortable for me...

I just went to a family reunion where we took massive family photo's and it was actually fun...and then I talked to the photographer about birth and was like, man I miss it sooo much, but she brought back funny memories of one girl coming in at about 3am and in the doorway screaming like a banshee with her legs parted and looking like attlia the hun...I think Linds delivered that babe's...pretty funny memory though...thanks Lola...

Oh and then I realized that if i didn't put myself out there on the web I probably wouldn't have kept up with Lola and her life and slowly lost contact with her and well, it just seemed to me that yes, there are always going to be stalkers and people who ready your blob who you think, what the crap! there will always be trials and vexations...but there are also friends out there...and they can teach you things just by living their life...and letting you in for a peek....

So call me a internet junkie, and blogger...whateve's

anyway, I had decided to form a one woman protest against the school for charging 20 to work out this semester at the gym...seriously people, if you only saw the little dungeon of the room they call a gym...I was going to not work out and this was going to be my protest...but then at the family reunion everyone said that I should not protest and just go with it...20 bucks is not much...seriously people!...I stand up for something and you want me to yeild...I picked my battle...this was going to be my battle...oh well, I guess I pick something else to protest about...there seems to be a pluthera of options in my school...but for now, I am 20 poorer and a treadmill happier...

goodnite friends

Children

this is the goal


for all of them...
and this is my love...the boy who stole my heart...

Abandoned

... by the side of the road, she was malnourished and all alone...

... out in the squatter camps crawling with flies, but old enough to remember things crawling on him, and now he freaks out if it happens...

... there he was, outside the front door of the neighbors house where he shared the dogs food for 3 months...

...his mum went to take a bath and just walked away from him in the hospital a few days after birth...

...his mother brought him to TLC and then walked away and doesn't visit...

...waiting for him to die they just left him in a hospital bed...for 2 years...and then they decided to give him a chance to live...

these are the some of the stories of the babies who I wipe and feed and kiss and cuddle and luv...
they made me cry tonight...

For the faithful Leigh

He doesn't talk and he doesn't walk...he dolphin's across the floors...everything he does is that much different from all the kids around him and I luv him for it. Already a toddler but so far behind, except for the sparkle in his eye. Even when he is playing with the kids he is off on his own entertaining himself and swimming across the floor, only occasionally resting his head on another kid's body if they happen to be lying down in front of him...but he is very independant.
I know that he gets cold after baths right away because he has no fat on his body, I know that he likes to hold your fingers when you give him a bottle, I know that he rolls over on the change mat to watch what your doing as you get clothes and nappies organized. And I know that when he raises his hands and flicks his fingers at you it means sing me 'Twinkle, Twinkle" and so we sing, sometimes he sort of hums the tune, but mostly I sing and sing and sing and he won't take any other song, I've tried...he just flicks his fingers and I know...
He lets me hold him when he's sad, he cuddles great when he's tired, but he also spits...today was like the marathon of spitting, and I am so tired of fighting with him over his spitting, I am sure I have half a bottle of milk on my face...but at the end of the day as I get him ready for bed, it is twinkle, twinkle and cuddles and sweet faces and kisses, goodnite my prince...I luv you little man...

epic

wimbledon 2009...andy roddick put up an amazing match but Federer overcame...Pete Samprass and wife came to the show...so did Bjorn Borg...intense...I had to finish the match on my laptop cause the flight from winnipeg to toronto was too short...waiting to check in now...but the epicness of tennis is giving me good adrenaline for the flight to amsterdam...
there are birds inside the toronto airport...I am afraid their going to poo on my laptop...also I sat behind this guy who let his 4 year olds watch Harry Potter from winnipeg to toronto...I am a closet fan of Harry but 4 year olds????? What is this world coming too...
anyway, off to check in my bags...
I almost took a pic of the birds in the airport...and then I knew they would poo if I did so Iheld back...murphy's law and all that....
to amsterdam....and beyond!

I may not know my watershed, but I know my waterfall...

A Speaker here at CMU talked about the decay of moral values and family due to our lack of knowledge of where we come from and what we are connected too. the land, animals and our watershed...all pushed aside by 7-11 and the local grocery store...I think his point was that we don't get connected to anything because everything is right at our fingertips...seemed kinda deep..deep is good I guess...
Alex left for cali today...it was a short summer vaca but so nice for her to come and see Linds and me...Linds parents were great, 3 girls taking over their house and Linds mum baked us cookies so when we got back from the cottage well...lets just say even though we weren't that hungry the cookies were calling to us, they needed to be in our tummies...
and today it hardly seems that a week ago we were looking forward to all this vacationing...but we certainly packed alot in, walks and canada day and independance day...well coffee and breakfast together...
Alex is the same as always, she got straight to my emotional health and had major insights into my life-it was very medicinal....my midwife friend who still helps little babies as they come into the world...Alex, I am in awe:)...and then I shrunk her sweater....I KNOW (that is me lamenting very loudly)...what kind of friend does that...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
but I felt like we all worked thru some waterfalls this week...
then we watched Revolutionary Road...it kinda wrecked me...I thought the movie was deep and insightful and wasn't getting to attached to it...and then the last frame was of the realestate ladies husband turning down his hearing aid and remembering. I don't even know if the movie was about this, but I felt like, he was remembering dreams, beauty, hope, loss, life...and that made the movie for me...now I wouldn't recomend the movie to anyone because it had some bad stuff in it...so don't watch it...but seriously I am glad I did, Alex and Linds glad we did Bride Wars too...thanks for the waterfall...thanks for the memories...
k now I am packing like a mad woman...

Canada day and the cottage...

this is where I have spent the lastt two days...so nice...wake up and have coffee out on the water...and then Linds decided she wanted to go in, so we all ended up jumping in but it is like swimming in ice-cube water...but we did...I was like the shreeking eels...but we swam and it was fun.







I am such a freak! I take the camera everywhere...I take pictures everywhere....here is an expose on women' washrooms...plus that is a new scarf from the Armstrong's...it is from thailand and it is sooooo pretty...


































My sweet friends put up with me making them pose in malls and in front of brick walls...I told them to look like they were walking but stay still cause I like the shadow of the tree...and then I later demonstrated how to look like your walking (where I look so dumb it's rediculous) but I am just excited about this camera...it is fun.