poem

my last exam is on friday...hollah!!!! (no, I don't actually say that in real life) This semester has been in palliative care and loads of movies on death and dying in class....seriously my prof is not happy unless we leave class bawling...THEN, yes, THEN made us write a grief paper and pour out our grief story; we couldn't not do this assignment or else we would fail the course...we were given a mark for our grief....I am not going to express how I feel about that paper and my mark because doing so would require words I don't normally use...then to pour salt on the wound the prof said that upon reading and marking each paper the papers were then erased from memory, the reason being we would not be seen as our grief, as in, "Oh, your that paper..." So, once again, verbal diarhea sent out into the universe only to be stamped out and erased by someone who read it...we are taught that nursing is not taking on your patients problems, so she released my grief to nothingness...the profs would have us believe we have enough on our plates, we have stressful work loads and jobs, therefor, we do not take on others problems...ever...because (short version) if you do that you will get sick and die. but then I remember that Jesus said if they ask you to walk one mile, walk two. He took our griefs and nailed them to a tree...but he was there too. Realistically I am not Jesus, but nurses get sick and die all the time even when they don't carry patients grief...and somewhere in all this rambling I think I have come to the conclusion that so many people do share my grief, so if my load is light, maybe I can share some other peoples too....basically although class would have me believe that I can live longer living for myself....I hope I forget that part and go back to gradeschool when I learned how important it is...to share things.

this poem is called...you think your special cause you can make me cry for a whole two hour class???? Well your not, I can make myself cry at the drop of a hat...so there...
on monday while this week you start 
I lay here, waiting to depart
on plastic matresses and white sheets
and soft murmuring lulls me
till I can no longer think
or tuesday with a storm approaching
thunder shatters, lightning crashing
this angry orchestral company
echo's the battle inside me
drowning, underneath I sink
wednesday too, would be alright
just hold me in arms tight
rock me back and forth again
with my grandma's aphgan
comfort, my last link
thursday at home in my bed
visions dancing in my head
of every moment, sweet and dear
now I fly far from here
eternity, on the brink
by chance on friday, I might go,
but as to when, no one knows

the tune to their parting song
till we meet again, not long
to this promise, drink
saturday, underneath the sun
golden, through a day of fun
slipping down to softly rest
on the horizon going west
silence; in hazy pink
but if on sunday
my final watch you keep
sing me to sleep
sing me to sleep
sing me to sleep

maybe....

recently a brother of mine posted about social justice...and the fairness of God...he ended his post with fairness is ours to make...which really threw me...really. seriously threw me.

social justice being man made efforts to solve a God sized problem...I got that part...but the whole fairness is ours to make...was a HUGE jump for me...i mean i get social justice is flawed...he did have a lot of meat and good stuff in between the whole jump from social justice philosophy and fairness in ours to make. but it was the one-liner at the end....maybe i shouldn't get fixated on the non-meatier parts and go back a few paragraphs...

but fairness is ours to make...still thinkin about that one...

the soundtrack for the past few years

First year of nursing school when I was still trying to get in....well I went back to the 80's and early 90's...

Tina Turner
Whitney Houston
Mariah Carey
The Pointer Sisters
alittle Aha
Micheal Jackson
Weezer
Toto
Keith Green
and some 70's Simon and Garfunkle
and of course chicago...do not know why I love that group so much but literally chicago has always been something I will listen to....super ashamed. but yeah...release it....:)

Then in Second year I decided to get alittle more currant with some Adele, Killers, Brandon Flowers, The Fray and Snow Patrol, Mika, Robyn, Sonic Flood but still Chicago reared it's ugly head and all things glee oh and...alot of classical music....Rachmoninov and Debussy being some of my ultimate favorites but I do like Wagner, Liszt and Schubert too...but I really do like Rachmoninov....
I think at this point I thought I was getting smarter and could actually become a really amazing student...

Enter 3rd year...not a great year for grades...but a great year for much even musically....I discovered Ellie Goulding, and Bassment Jaxx has a remix for everything....ps when your writing papers and memorizing...you don't need alot of depth....just beat...so enter new favorite song Adele's cold shoulder remix....but for some reason during this time I had to go back...I had missed out on the whole U2 craze...but this was when I became an official U2 junkie...and CBC radio one...or is it two...well anyway I played it and listened to all the eclectic music it offered. Oh and Fun....on repeat....lots of repeat

And now...year four...I am not quite sure what I listen to anymore...but today I was feeling well...ragey...and well...on went the u2....Where the streets have no name....empty ragey thoughts of hate toward all things school...and now I am bawling...to end off with alittle soothing liszt so I can actually study and go to clinical ....not crying...why do I cry you may ask...because. thats my answer.

I want them to know...

I want them to know you take pride in keeping crazies out of your country. I want them to know you sometimes (well, actually really most of the time) enjoy inspiring a little fear in American's hearts every time they meet you. I want them to know you have a huge soft spot for anything family related, you have somehow finagled your wife to care for the dog you can't part with. I want them to know your the only person in my extended family who has stood up to my oldest sister and you have the African profile head to prove it! I want them to know you like vinyl records, and graphic novels and you coach your kids soccer teams. I want them to know you pray with your kids at bedtime and you eat something called rachlette. I want them to know this as they care for you not as a room number, type of cancer or gendered nameless person....but as you. the # 1 cuz.
But if they don't I know you. It won't change all these things that you are! and I also know you won't make it so easy for them next time they drive up from a down under shopping trip...oh no, a little pay back might be in store:)

words

the other day i was telling a doctor something and said the word peeing. apparently doctors don't understand what peeing is in relation to illness and in medical terminology one must say voiding. I was chastened and realized that when I talk to professionals I must use professional terminology, and then conversely, I have to make it understandable to my patients by using lay-terminology with them.

deep down inside me something rages when things like this happen.

I rage because I wonder if the medical profession really thinks they can distance themselves from illness and death by putting a new name to everything. dyspnea. don't say he can't breathe, say he is experiencing severe dyspnea.

I don't care how you should say it, just help me fix it.

but then I realize I am supposed to understand this new language to it's fullest extent so that I can see how things are happening in the body at a clinical level...and I grow from being ragey to terrified. because, soon they are going to set me free on some ward somewhere and tell me to be a professional....not simply study for a test, observe the real professionals or get someone to watch me do something so i don't mess up. No...in a few short months I will be it. I will be the one as they used to say ...way back...in the philippines...so here I am getting ready for my last rotation, the night before I start....freaking out about how I am probably going to talk about peeing and pooping instead of voiding and bowel movement...

A Magical Christmas

Once, a very long time ago, a little girl along with her Father, Mother and 2 sisters and brother arrived in a busy airport. Across the great room, through a glass door, stood a tall white haired gentleman who turned towards them with a gentle smile, "That's grandpa!" her Father told her. The little girl remembers being slightly awed by the distinguished looking man as he guided them through wintery streets to his home. Not just any house, it was a real, human sized gingerbread house with chocolates on walls and doors. Each new hallway was a candy surprise and the loveliest of women greated her with hugs and kisses. This woman was magical because although she was a grandma, she seemed about as old as a child. In the mornings this Grandmother would serve the whitest of buns with red jam that tasted like heaven and evenings were spent playing games and listening to Christmas choirs sing on the radio. One morning while getting ready for church the Grandmother was putting on lipstick and blush in the bathroom, and as the little girl watched her, she said with a twinkle, "Young girls like you don't need any help to be beautiful, but once your old you need more help to make you presentable". The end of each magical day with grandpa and grandma were always full of hugs and kisses goodnite and "I love you's" and "sweet dreams". The little girl couldn't wait for Christmas day to arrive.
One day, the little girl remembers being piled into a red car with new friends with big brown eyes and driving up a winding mountain to stay in such things as chateau's and visit castles. One evening there was skating and when everyone would gather in this large common room there was laughter and stories and more chocolate and a beautiful woman with silver hair. The little girl followed this woman into the kitchen, I believe she followed this woman around quite abit, and in the kitchen she watched the beautiful lady peal apples for apple pie. It was here she learned that apple skin was the healthiest part of an apple and was given as much as her little heart wanted while the beautiful lady created an apple pie. And when they finally celebrated Christmas the little girl was given a beautiful golden haired doll with a red knit jumper and white blouse. The little doll was the most beautiful doll she had ever seen, and the clothes were made by her grandmother, the little girl was quite sure that she had gotten the best gift that Christmas. For on Jesus birthday, and rememebering that Jesus came as a baby. The little girl was given a baby, and better yet, the baby could pee. This was a truly magical baby doll.  
The holiday continued and on a visit to her friends with the red car's house she discovered Bing Crosby, in the evening they, the two families and all the children, gathered to watch a movie which she promptly fell in love with, White Christmas. After many lovely memories the visit ended. And once again the little girl boarded a plane and flew far away from the gingerbread house. But, like every magical place, that Christmas is only a thought away, from the first moment when she spotten her grandpa turn with welcome to the stories of her father''s childhood, and the playpark down the street from where they stayed.
Epilogue
The little golden haired doll lived a rather hard live being dragged from continent to continent. Where upon being fed flour water in the tropics she developed a clog in her system and could no longer pee. However, because she was a magic doll, she remained alive long after she could no longer process any sort of food or fluids. And then one day, going the way of all toys, simply disappeared. magicly. 

prosaic

I was reading a news article in class and came across the term prosaic; the article was about the phone hacking scandle in England and how it brought down an empire but then adding after all the events which lead putting news media on trial...the truth was probably more procaic than all the sensational happenings that have come out of it.

Prosaic.

I looked it up. It means dull, ordinary.

One tiny little word changed the whole article.

Mostly I felt stupid cause I actually had no idea what prosaic meant, I luv the word prosaic. Saying it. It has such a pretty sound, like mosaic ( which is so not a dull word) and comes from the root prose...which, lets face it people...words have infinite possibilities to excite, calm, inspire, comfort, and what is prosaic about that!

oh the pessimist in me...

this is my last year of school, yet I still worry about how incompetant I am and if I can actually graduate...I mean how can I write an intelligent paper on domestic violence and it's impact on the individual, family, community and culture, to entire worldview...if I can't find my wax strips...

i am trying to work towards an overseas assignment and putting together contacts and emailing people and waiting for responses and seeing deadlines loom and realizing I am going to need alot of good reviews from pofessors before I even get cleared to go....deep down I don't think it will happen but when I think of staying in one place too much longer a big part of my heart shrivels up and howls (yes, this is possible)...

and lately I have been worried that I will have nothing in common with my sisters the next time I see them...maybe we will have nothing to talk about...they will tell me the joys and trials of motherhood and I have no context for that...and they will ask me what I do with my life and I will say...I sit at the computer...and then I sit in class....and then I sit on the bus.... but can we still be friends?


at some point in the future I will possibly, maybe, if I can pass this next assignment, become a professional..."I don't feel like a professional." also, I think it is kind of a bad word in my family too...so basically I feel like I am joining the dark side...

wow...this has been brought to you by the season fall, the color grey and "I think my periods coming soon"....


school is REALLY REALLY REALLY making me a bit crazy....but there is only one more month...by this time next month I will be just about done...if I pass, which reminds me...where are those stupid wax strips!!!!

pumpkin pie and objectivity

 I like pumpkin pie.

I hate objectivity. I hate that people pass that term around like it's jam and all you need for a complete sandwhich of thought. You have the basic bread of information now just make a perfect sandwhich brought to you by that special ingredient...objectivity. Just be objective, show some objectivity, well if you look at that objectively....it's like looking at it before you added the term objectively to it....well, thats just not good enough. What a crazy thing to do....how can you process and analyze without objectivity? In order to quantify how you are processing your information...basically you always want it to end with...objectivity.

I object!

I have no objectivity.

yup. (Not like you all didn't know that anyway)

and subjectivly speaking...I don't think anyone else has too much of that perfect ingredient either...

slogan: Postmodern and lost in subjectivity.

slogan: Objectively...objecting...to being...an object. this has been pure nonsense but I am tired...

Happy Birthday

You had better still read the ole blob:) otherwise you'll miss out on an actual not super late birthday wish....it's funny cause sometimes I forget Andi's birthday....I can't for the life of me remember Yases birthdate...just that it's in spring-ish...I think....

but I always am pretty sure about yours...even if I am late I still think about you on...Sept 25.....it is that day right?

I think it's very telepathic of me...and quite unlike me...

but back to you.

I think you have a gift. I always knew there was something about you that was way cool. But I don't think I could quite explain it. I still don't think I can. But after visiting with your parents this past month I think I have a better idea...here it goes....you are you. You are living a hectic life all over the world, you fly planes, and people in crazy conditions, get sharp things pointed at you, you hang pictures on one wall one week and then move it to the other wall the week after that. You could brag about all this, you could tell people how much you do for others and make them respect. But you just don't. In fact you let others make you feel silly just cause you don't say all that you can shut them down with....

so, that being said...

you can tell them all off now.

Happy Birthday bro!

you just got a can of whoop-a$^ from the lil sister

I feel the earth move

I am moved here in little France...so fun to walk around the neighbourhood and hear people speaking french. Anyway, the apartment has been graced with my roomies furniture and thanks to uncle Henry and aunt Jan...I have a bed and dresser...i wasn't sleeping so well on the floor and then just like magic...in one day my world changed...I got a bed and a dresser...THANK_YOU

now why do I feel the earth move...train tracks...across the street...and trains rush by about 2 times a day...if it's at night-when I was on the floor I would be banging against the floor...but now that I am in the bed...it's like I am being rocked to sleep....luv it...

also sometimes it feels like an earthquake...so then I pretend I live in california...where it's hot...and it makes me happy....

i was feeling so inspired the other day I thru a frozen 1/2 a chicken into the oven...yup...and cause i thought I am brilliant I also poured a can of coconut milk...2 hours later...I started wondering why the house smelt like tanning lotion....

the chicken!!!!

yup, I added cilantro to the gravy -then I just gave up...I have been eating my tanning lotion chicken this week...so as always culinary adventures plague my life and usually not in a good I just foodnetworked my life...more like...i just cooked something that doesn't smell like it's edible...

it's a good thing I like coconut.

organized me

you might think you just started reading someone elses blob...not mine...sorry, still me.


I have all my assignments written in a dayplanner...who does that? haven't started them...well i did and then stopped...i mean really. there is such a thing as too much of a good thing...

I bought a phone...yes RY, I have a phone but you will be sad to know it's not an i-phone....otherwise my title would be i-organize...and you would have got that hint right away! but you will be happy to know that while i was buying the phone your voice-the one that lives in my head-kept mocking the sales guy who told me that if I wanted the best...samsung is the way to go...so in a way...you were there with me halping me pick out my phone...or at least making me laugh while the lady/person was talking about apps and stuff i don't know...pretty soon i will be able to use it...my phone...i am going to a class...i know. shush...

my friend alex had another baby boy at home...hurrah alex!!!!!!! u go my midwife friend!!!!!

also I made stir-fry last night and then bruschetta today....cept I didn't google the receipe for bruschetta...thought I knew...bought cilantro...to make a long story short. basil. but that is just a small blip in my organized life....

i arrived to school on time the rest of the week after being 15 minutes late the first day...

I got old books to share with some new nursing students, I went through my boxes of junk, organized paperwork.

now i am getting ready to do errands and have already cleaned the bathroom and....drum roll please.

I made my bed.

truly, organized me.

ps. title is cause i just watched despicable me...and yes, unicorns are the best, and i do love them

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

well, the adventure of this house is just about over. There have been fun times here and also some stressful moments, of course the last week added it's share of craziness.

Last friday my roomate washed and dried a pen with her last load of laundry-the landlord's sheets too-and everything came out blue...including the drier...

she came up the stairs scared and slightly teary and said, " I washed a pen in my laundry...then I dried it too." I calmly went downstairs with her to see the damage...my only words were..."oh, shit" which was kinda bad of me since she was almost crying already. But she was flying away that day and I would be left to face the landlords so I thought I had alittle right to be a bit harsh...anyway, we decided to turn to the internet...

google is amazing, and so is nail polish remover but the drier is still a shade blue-er than it used to be...

then the cats decided to make friends with the next door neighbours porch which made them a bit unhappy since they arrived from our house and I still hadn't taken them to the humane society...finally rounded them up with tuna one night and into a box with a lid went mama, and five kittens...drive half and hour to the society and once there are told to sign a form saying they will be put down if "no adoption arrangments are made for them in a suitable amount of time"....that was traumatizing...kinda like signing a death note...so off we went to buy copius amounts of chocolate to deaden the ol conscience...

then my other roomate had been wanting to watch a scary movie together all summer, the other roomates at the time didn't like scary movies so we would always find something else to do... finally with just me and her left I said, "ok." it started out with a jaws night which was fine cause we don't live near water...then the past few days of cleaning have been ended with nights of watching scary movies... we watched silence of the lambs to start things off...there is a character on silence of the lambs who basically has one line...it's the captive...and the whole movie she is either howling "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" or saying "I want my mommy" over and over again....

so during our cleaning in the daytime me and my roomie would be frustrated something is not getting clean or I would mention the drier again and then we will look at eachother and just start howling, "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!" AHhhhhhhhhhhh" echoing back the pain and frustration of moving and somehow it helped...it got to the point where I would just pick up the cleaning supplies and start wailing..."I want my mommeeeee!!!!" over and over again.... my roomate didn't seem to mind, she would just echo right back with "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!"

then today she left and I am alone, in the house for two more nights with boxes, rags, unwiped walls, and a stove top that won't get clean..."AHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" I start wailing but there is no echo, no friendly laughing face to help me...just silence...and it's getting darker outside, sirens are going off two streets down... and I am all alone...

"I want my mommy"

I owe you all an email...so I'm just going to blob

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I'm moving. I hate moving when I don't want to...but I luv moving when it means i get to travel far far away...I am going across town...lame...but I must move, the owners want their house back. Fine.


Work, my two best girls quit, one gave her two weeks and the other just didn't show. These are girls I have bleed tears of total swimsuit boredom with, laughed with, and yes sometimes even cried with...and now they are gone. I am a bit sad.

The kittens came back..you know the ones that were born in the basement window well...they now live under the front poarch...what am I gonna do...they are so cute...and I can't have them, the owners don't want them and well the humane society doesn't always feel like the humane way of dealing witha dorable kittens sometimes...little furballs growing up in a cage...the mum has been so amazing...I can't believe how she has hid and re-hid and transported her 5 babies around our yard and house the last few weeks...

I had company last night, they arrived at about 11 after driving 12 hours and then I kept them up till one chatting and sent them off with cereal....I am such great host...feel kinda bad about that...

school is starting soon...a sense of impending doom has started to attatch itself to this coming semester due to the amount of papers I am required to write...school....doom...schoom....yes, schoom it is.

I am a fourth year student nurse!


...nope still doesn't sound very cool...oh well...i never really was cool, shouldn't start now...

I have had a lovely summer. I luv you all...thats all for now... 

missing important days

your turning 60 this year, I remember a few years ago you were already telling people you were 59...I think you were only 56 then, we both laughed and now time has passed and you are 59:)...

anyway I don't write as much as I should and I don't send you the birthday packages or even cards that I should but I just want you to know that this year, your birthday has been on my mind and my heart so much...I think it's cause I went to Linds parent's combined 50th birthday-it was put on by Linds and she invited friends and relatives of her parents throughout their lives...it was so sweet and I only noticed this because Linds mum made a very eloquent thank-you speach about how looking around the room she saw her life in stages by the people that came to the party she said that by looking at the people around the room she remembered the good times of each stage of her life...I think, right then. I just thought of you...and who will celebrate you...who will show up to remind you that not just now, or even a very long time ago...but every step along the way there were good times represented by people in the same hemisphere, country, city, room as you...that night I missed all those moments I haven't been able to show you my presence through the years, all the parties I can't not plan or forget to plan or just stress out about and then make you plan anyway:)...to celebrate you.

now I know you and dad are ultra positive people...and you will be tired anyway from all your travels so you might not even remember your party...but I still think a little celebrating and just being able to be with someone you shared life with is special...and mam, we have shared some life you and me:) I miss not being able to celebrate your birthday...

so I am sending my heart to you on the worldwide web...and wishing you the best party ( hope dad and your friends are planning it well) and when you think about starting a new year and wrapping up all the other years...well I hope you know how special you are...and how many people would love to be in that room with you...celebrating with you...and I will be thinking of you all week until then too...

I LOVE YOU

Furrry gifts and Faith

The other day my roomate saw our window well coverings to the basement windows were asque, peeked in...a family of kittens and their mother. Calico mother with two orange one black and two calico babies...the babies were dry with eyes open so maybe not brand new but still...so cute. We all came out and ooo'd and awed over the little bundles of joy. I even thought of emailing my landlords with and email announcing they were grandparents to baby kittens...but then the reality of it all set in.
A stray mother cat, our window well, we are all leaving in a month, babies are fragile, who will take care of them? What are we going to do?
I went down the street to the neighborhood cat lady and asked her if she lost a cat or was interested in kittens...she said no, she told me to take them to the humain society. After coming home and talking with roomates it seemed like this was probably the best option for this little family...but today. One by one the babies are leaving, the mother is rehiding her family. We are down to two little ones....I'm torn. part of me is so sad, disapointed I can't help but then there is another part that is happy that this mother is so capapble, she is taking this on, and she has decided to go.
Today I learned about faith. Faith isn't a belief so much as a trusting relationship...sometimes I find this earthshattering...so even though I don't feel it, can't muster some, never seem to follow through with...I got me some faith. BOOM. 

the fall of rome...

Underdogs. Don't ever cheer for them, what's the point, they are underdogs...success comes very rarely to underdogs...and yet...on saturday there I was, cheering for an underdog. what happened in the first 17 minutes was the team I was cheering against scored and an imperceptible, yet to me audible, sound of the knell which tools death to underdogs of all types went off in my head. This is the end. But because it was a final I decided to stick to the end...it can't get so bad right. There is defeat and then their is complete and utter anihilation.
Right before the second half what should happen again..yes, another goal. Okay, Okay...they can't let a third in-that would be too much-here is to a strong second half....
well, the last sub is subbed in for the underdog...5 minutes later he is injured...no subs left...now they are not only loosing but loosing and playing a man down...
I believe in miracles. I feel like I need to say that at this time. It has no bearing on this story-unfortunately...
Then one after another goals are scored on the team that died about 60 minutes before the end of time or the whistle blow as it were...the battle was over way before the final score of 4-0...but still to go in the history books as a team beaten to a pulp...later on during the trophy presentation that sub...that sub that was no friend of mine...well he was bawling...and bawling...the camera kept panning to his face...they would show the victors and their celebrations and then him...they would show the crowds and fans and then pan back to him...they would show the trophy being engraved and then pan back to him...he got more air time crying than playing...
and then it was over. And I think no one was more happy than those Italians to leave Kiev to never return...as Grandma would say, "Go, Go with God, but just go." there is nothing left for you to conquer here...

i am here

it's fourth year folks...over the past four years and now going into my fifth of back to school madness...i finally got to register for my fourth year classes and slowly see a small speck of light at the end of this...most days i wonder what I'm doing...occassionally i wonder if I have it in me...lots of times worry that I'll never finish...it never ends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and then today happened...not like it was smooth...with me there always has to be a stupid mistake that i overthink or do not understand...we are supposed to register for the courses with the lowest numbers first to get in right...and then register for clinical courses...well...the clinical course happened to have a lower number...i only got half the instructions in my head...had to phone the registrar...have her talk me through registering (this is my fourth year peeps...you would think i would know by now...) and then I got in...I am in...the next year of my life scholastically is mapped out and I am tired just thinking about it...
there are 22 people who will be very sad this fall...only 112  places were available...and i am one of the 112...hurray...but I can't help feeling for the 22...
and no, it didn't feel anti-climactic at all...i earned every click of the submit button as i saw each class fly up on my schedule...4rth year....BOOM

Dear Dad

I love you.

I love that I'm like you

I just wish it was in the...

gentle, pray pacing, preaching, humble,dependable way

not so much the worry, stresser, anxious way...

to my incredible visionary dad

happy your day today.

in one week

7 days ago...

I was told there could be a 1 in 5 chance i wasn't getting in to 4rth year classes...

I was still in summer school writing about such things as empathy...and experiencing none.

I had no summer renter for two months...

I was alone in the house not sleeping cause all my roomates had either left or were on a trip...this means all nights where I listen to my neighbours get drunk...

tonight.

got a ticket to register for june 20 into fourth year...we'll see how smooth it goes but just getting a ticket is so amazing...feel like i won the lottery or something

am done summer classes

got a roomate for those two months of summer...

got home to find my portugese neighbours cleaning up my yard and telling me all those plants i hadn't pulled cause i thought they might be flowers...were not flowers...then they showed me their garden...

have someone in the house finally so i can sleep....


worries -10
peace +5 ( 5 is good for me...usually i think I am about a 2)
life=just remembered I didn't plan ahead for father's day...epic fail...Dad, my email will be heartfelt and it's coming.

goodnite.